Today's tip is going to be very short. I'm going to
answer one of the most common questions I receive every
day.
A question that I always get from my readers is:
"Marius, what if a woman asks me about my love life
or if I have a girlfriend while I'm on a first date...when
I haven't even had a girlfriend for a long time?"
Obivously, you don't want to "lie" to her and tell
her that you have "many" girlfriends when you don't.
Nor do you want to tell her that you're a loser who
hasn't been on a date for years. (Remember: You need
to remain a challenge!)
So here's what you tell her...
Tell her "I don't have a girlfriend right now, but
I do have a couple of prospects."
When you get to the "couple of prospects" part, tilt
your head a bit, look into her eyes, and smile at her. Then
IMMEDIATELY throw the ball back into HER court by asking,
"How about you? How's your love life?"
Or...if you wanna tease her, then asks, "How about you?
How's your love life? You even have one?"
It works like a charm!
The biggest mistakes in dating
Today I'm going to show you one of the most common
mistakes that the novice Smart Dater make:
Trying to be perfect.
The biggest mistake that I often catch my students
make is spending too much time READING things and "preparing"
themselves for meeting their dream girl instead of actually
DOING and practicing the things I've taught them.
Listen. You will *never* be perfect.
Even I am not perfect. (And I've been doing this for
years!)
Here is's a rule that I am probably going to add to
the next Smart Dating Course update:
"Good enough is enough."
Don't try to learn every single technique before you
start flirting with women.
Don't try to be think of every possible scenario or
outcome before you approach a woman.
Don't wait until you're "perfect" before you approach
a woman.
Chances, you're not going to get it on the first try,
second try, or even third try. These skills take time and patience
to develop. If you obsess about being perfect the first time
you talk to a woman, you'll NEVER get to talk to her - period.
So instead of worrying about getting it right the FIRST
time, focus on taking ACTION.
Go crash and burn - I beg of you.
As long as you learn from your mistakes each time, it
won't be a waste...because you can only GET BETTER.
I promise that you will learn *much* faster if you
actually go out and PRACTICE instead if just reading my dating
tips.
But of course...the biggest objection to this is, "But
I can't afford to fail...because she's the only girl I like and
she means everything to me..."
Well...let's just say that if you have this kind of
attitude, then the battle has been been lost. Until you can
detach yourself from the outcome of a situation, you're never
going to be *really* good in an area - be it dating or any
other area of your life.
Here's the assignment of the week: I want you to get
off your lazy butt and...
1) Make eye contact and smile at 25 women you do not
know.
2) Flirt with every woman you talk to casually.
3) Tease the attractive women.
4) Compliment the unattractive women.
5) Go out twice.
mistakes that the novice Smart Dater make:
Trying to be perfect.
The biggest mistake that I often catch my students
make is spending too much time READING things and "preparing"
themselves for meeting their dream girl instead of actually
DOING and practicing the things I've taught them.
Listen. You will *never* be perfect.
Even I am not perfect. (And I've been doing this for
years!)
Here is's a rule that I am probably going to add to
the next Smart Dating Course update:
"Good enough is enough."
Don't try to learn every single technique before you
start flirting with women.
Don't try to be think of every possible scenario or
outcome before you approach a woman.
Don't wait until you're "perfect" before you approach
a woman.
Chances, you're not going to get it on the first try,
second try, or even third try. These skills take time and patience
to develop. If you obsess about being perfect the first time
you talk to a woman, you'll NEVER get to talk to her - period.
So instead of worrying about getting it right the FIRST
time, focus on taking ACTION.
Go crash and burn - I beg of you.
As long as you learn from your mistakes each time, it
won't be a waste...because you can only GET BETTER.
I promise that you will learn *much* faster if you
actually go out and PRACTICE instead if just reading my dating
tips.
But of course...the biggest objection to this is, "But
I can't afford to fail...because she's the only girl I like and
she means everything to me..."
Well...let's just say that if you have this kind of
attitude, then the battle has been been lost. Until you can
detach yourself from the outcome of a situation, you're never
going to be *really* good in an area - be it dating or any
other area of your life.
Here's the assignment of the week: I want you to get
off your lazy butt and...
1) Make eye contact and smile at 25 women you do not
know.
2) Flirt with every woman you talk to casually.
3) Tease the attractive women.
4) Compliment the unattractive women.
5) Go out twice.
What if you and ur best friend like the same girl
A question that I often get is, "Marius, what if I
have to decide between going out with a woman and keeping
a best friend who also happens to like the same girl?"
This is a really question to answer - as there's no
"proper" answer.
In my years of experiences as a dating coach, I've
seen cases where a man turns away a best friend just so he
can be with a woman he really likes - only to break up with
the girl a few months after.
It sorts of makes you ask yourself, "20 years of
friendship gone for a relationship that didn't even last
three months...was it worth it?"
But of course, there are some RARE instances where
a man chooses a woman over a friend and has a very good
relationship with her.
But these cases happen rarely, and you should be
aware of the odds. 90 percent of relationships do NOT last
past the first few months So when you choose a woman you've
JUST MET over a friend you've known for 10 or 20 years, you
should be aware of the FRIENDSHIP you're risking and the
ODDS THAT YOU ARE AGAINST.
Here's my advice: Think about your friendship,
think about the woman, and then weigh the consequences.
I cannot tell you what to do when it comes to choosing
between a woman and a friend. I can show you the facts,
but at the end of the day it is going to be a decision
that YOU will have to make - like a man.
As I always say, there are many situations in life
where a "real man" has to make a tough choice and then
LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES without any regrets. This is
a perfect example of such a situation.
have to decide between going out with a woman and keeping
a best friend who also happens to like the same girl?"
This is a really question to answer - as there's no
"proper" answer.
In my years of experiences as a dating coach, I've
seen cases where a man turns away a best friend just so he
can be with a woman he really likes - only to break up with
the girl a few months after.
It sorts of makes you ask yourself, "20 years of
friendship gone for a relationship that didn't even last
three months...was it worth it?"
But of course, there are some RARE instances where
a man chooses a woman over a friend and has a very good
relationship with her.
But these cases happen rarely, and you should be
aware of the odds. 90 percent of relationships do NOT last
past the first few months So when you choose a woman you've
JUST MET over a friend you've known for 10 or 20 years, you
should be aware of the FRIENDSHIP you're risking and the
ODDS THAT YOU ARE AGAINST.
Here's my advice: Think about your friendship,
think about the woman, and then weigh the consequences.
I cannot tell you what to do when it comes to choosing
between a woman and a friend. I can show you the facts,
but at the end of the day it is going to be a decision
that YOU will have to make - like a man.
As I always say, there are many situations in life
where a "real man" has to make a tough choice and then
LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES without any regrets. This is
a perfect example of such a situation.
What to do when she is under stress
if you have been dating for awhile, you should know
that there are times when a woman acts stressed or emotional
due to with work, school, family, and other reasons - including
you. Today, I'll show you what to do when your woman is under
a lot of stress.
According to human psychology, there are a few ways that
humans use to deal with problems. Let's look at how they
apply to women:
1) Becoming Overwhelmed By Emotion
The most common reaction to stress and problems for
a woman is to get emotional. This is a time you should give
her a shoulder to cry on to let her know that you are there
for her. Just sit there and listen to her. Don't try to
offer her advice or solutions as tempting as that may sound.
Remember that female and male brains are wired a bit
differently. When guys talk to other people, they are hoping
for a SOLUTION. When women vent to a man, she is not hoping
for advice or solutions, but for emotional support.
2) Pretend To Be Happy
A woman may also pretend that she is happy and that
nothing is wrong. Give her a knowing look and a hug and let
her know that you'll be there for her if she needs you without
saying anything verbally. If she wants to try to be happy,
let her be and don't bust her game.
3) Assume Blame
A woman may also assume all the blame for herself.
If you think it's not her fault for whatever problem or
stress she is thinking, let her know your opinion, and that
she has your full support. But leave it at that. Don't keep
trying to convince her that it's not her fault. Why? Because
if you do, another psychology principle will kick in: She will
start assuming blames on herself even MORE just to get you
to further convince her that she's a good person.
You don't want your girlfriend to fall into an
"I am not worthy" cycle, do you?
4) Isolate Herself
It is very common for guys to isolate themselves
and "think things out" when they are under stress. Women do
the same thing - except they usually only do it when they are
mad at YOU. (And I would argue that they are thinking things
out while they are isolation...they are usually just giving
you the "silence treatment.")
When a woman gives you a silence treatment, access
what you did right or wrong. If you didn't do anything wrong,
then be a bigger b**ch and give her the silent treatment
back, for an even longer period of time. If you DID do
something wrong, however, then an apology is necessary.
5) Fight and Blame Others
A last resort for a woman to cope with stress is to
blame others for her problems. If the problems (such as the
problems at work) are really not her faults, then just let
her vent it out. But if you think she's responsible for her
problems but is unwilling to admit it, then take mental note.
Don't argue with her or tell her that she's the one at fault.
Just take mental note and remember the incident. Why? Because
as a "Smart Dater" you should only date women with good
character, women who always blame others for their own
problems usually do not make good girlfriends or wives in
the long run.
If a woman consistently blames the world for her
problems, it's time to cut her off and find a better girlfriend.
This words may sound harsh...but I am merely looking
out for YOU. Because if you date a irresponsible, psychotic
b****, sooner or later she will start blaming all her problems
on YOU. (I've seen it happen to my clients MANY times...)
that there are times when a woman acts stressed or emotional
due to with work, school, family, and other reasons - including
you. Today, I'll show you what to do when your woman is under
a lot of stress.
According to human psychology, there are a few ways that
humans use to deal with problems. Let's look at how they
apply to women:
1) Becoming Overwhelmed By Emotion
The most common reaction to stress and problems for
a woman is to get emotional. This is a time you should give
her a shoulder to cry on to let her know that you are there
for her. Just sit there and listen to her. Don't try to
offer her advice or solutions as tempting as that may sound.
Remember that female and male brains are wired a bit
differently. When guys talk to other people, they are hoping
for a SOLUTION. When women vent to a man, she is not hoping
for advice or solutions, but for emotional support.
2) Pretend To Be Happy
A woman may also pretend that she is happy and that
nothing is wrong. Give her a knowing look and a hug and let
her know that you'll be there for her if she needs you without
saying anything verbally. If she wants to try to be happy,
let her be and don't bust her game.
3) Assume Blame
A woman may also assume all the blame for herself.
If you think it's not her fault for whatever problem or
stress she is thinking, let her know your opinion, and that
she has your full support. But leave it at that. Don't keep
trying to convince her that it's not her fault. Why? Because
if you do, another psychology principle will kick in: She will
start assuming blames on herself even MORE just to get you
to further convince her that she's a good person.
You don't want your girlfriend to fall into an
"I am not worthy" cycle, do you?
4) Isolate Herself
It is very common for guys to isolate themselves
and "think things out" when they are under stress. Women do
the same thing - except they usually only do it when they are
mad at YOU. (And I would argue that they are thinking things
out while they are isolation...they are usually just giving
you the "silence treatment.")
When a woman gives you a silence treatment, access
what you did right or wrong. If you didn't do anything wrong,
then be a bigger b**ch and give her the silent treatment
back, for an even longer period of time. If you DID do
something wrong, however, then an apology is necessary.
5) Fight and Blame Others
A last resort for a woman to cope with stress is to
blame others for her problems. If the problems (such as the
problems at work) are really not her faults, then just let
her vent it out. But if you think she's responsible for her
problems but is unwilling to admit it, then take mental note.
Don't argue with her or tell her that she's the one at fault.
Just take mental note and remember the incident. Why? Because
as a "Smart Dater" you should only date women with good
character, women who always blame others for their own
problems usually do not make good girlfriends or wives in
the long run.
If a woman consistently blames the world for her
problems, it's time to cut her off and find a better girlfriend.
This words may sound harsh...but I am merely looking
out for YOU. Because if you date a irresponsible, psychotic
b****, sooner or later she will start blaming all her problems
on YOU. (I've seen it happen to my clients MANY times...)
Things to talk about with women
Since many readers have asked me to post a list of
"conversation topics" that they can talk about with women,
here is a list of things to talk about next time you go
out on a date:
1) Current Events
Talking about current events is a good start for
small-talking. It will allow you to seek the opinion of
your date on current events and see what kind of person
she is.
If you don't know anything about current events,
then you definitely need to start watching the daily news or
reading newspapers.
2) Interesting Facts And Stories
It helps to know many interesting stories or facts
that you have gathered from newspapers, magazines, and
books. For example, while on a coffee date you could
teach your date about the history of coffee and the number
of coffee beans that are consumed in the United States
every year.
To avoid being too "geeky", make sure you flirt
with and tease your date while you share your fun facts
and stories. And most important of all, make sure she
is interested in what you're saying. Never flog a
dead horse to death - especially on a boring story.
3) Music And Movies
You can also talk to your date about movies
and music she likes. See what kind of bands and movies
she likes. Then offer to go to the concerts and movies
with her.
4) Common Interests
Find common interests between you and a date,
be it cars, music, or a certain hobby.
5) Background and Lifestyle
Talk about her background and lifestyle and the
things she did when she was a kid. See what her ambitions
and dreams are.
If you're a classy guy, you can also talk about
the lifestyle that you lead. (Where you go, what you eat,
etc.) Just make sure you follow the "poker hand rule" in
the "Smart Dating Course" and don't reveal too much.
6) Passions
"conversation topics" that they can talk about with women,
here is a list of things to talk about next time you go
out on a date:
1) Current Events
Talking about current events is a good start for
small-talking. It will allow you to seek the opinion of
your date on current events and see what kind of person
she is.
If you don't know anything about current events,
then you definitely need to start watching the daily news or
reading newspapers.
2) Interesting Facts And Stories
It helps to know many interesting stories or facts
that you have gathered from newspapers, magazines, and
books. For example, while on a coffee date you could
teach your date about the history of coffee and the number
of coffee beans that are consumed in the United States
every year.
To avoid being too "geeky", make sure you flirt
with and tease your date while you share your fun facts
and stories. And most important of all, make sure she
is interested in what you're saying. Never flog a
dead horse to death - especially on a boring story.
3) Music And Movies
You can also talk to your date about movies
and music she likes. See what kind of bands and movies
she likes. Then offer to go to the concerts and movies
with her.
4) Common Interests
Find common interests between you and a date,
be it cars, music, or a certain hobby.
5) Background and Lifestyle
Talk about her background and lifestyle and the
things she did when she was a kid. See what her ambitions
and dreams are.
If you're a classy guy, you can also talk about
the lifestyle that you lead. (Where you go, what you eat,
etc.) Just make sure you follow the "poker hand rule" in
the "Smart Dating Course" and don't reveal too much.
6) Passions
Good things to do for your love life why you are single
Last time we talked about the importance of enjoying
your single life before getting into a relationship. Today I'm
going to show you a couple of things that you can do while you're
still single.
1) Hang Out With Friends
Over the years, I've noticed that a big problem
most guys have when they get out of a long-term
relationship is that they have lost contact with all
their old friends.
I've also noticed a direct correlation between
unhappiness and having a lack of good friends, especially
when it comes to the "lone-wolfs".
A "lone-wolf" can focus all his energy on a woman
(or more than one woman if the lone-wolf is a player) in
the short-term. But when his romantic relationship(s) turn
south or he has a period of bad luck with women, he may
suddenly find himself depressed and unwilling to go out
because he has no friends.
I've seen more than a few amazing "players" go from
"pimp" to "depressed" because they lacked "normal" friendships
with other men while they were between women. It's sort of
like a bad cycle. You're very good with women so you don't
see the point of having male friends. But once in awhile
you have a bad streak of luck with women and so you "give up"
for awhile. But while you're "taking a break", you get into
depression mode because you don't have any buddies to hang
out with. Without any friends to motivate you, you slip
into further depression until you lose all your charm
with women.
Many of my readers who are in their late 20's, 30's
or 40's have told me similar problems. Here's the classic
story of how it happens:
1) Guy is young, handsome, and skilled with the
ladies.
2) Guy plays women and gets a lot of sex.
3) Guy meets "the one" and stops playing.
4) Guy loses all his friends due to lack of
contact.
5) Guy breaks up a few months or years later.
6) Guy doesn't know how to get out of the house
anymore because he has lost all his friends and
"skills".
7) Guy gets depressed.
Do not make the same mistake. When things are going
well for you, don't forget the buddies. And when you're
single, spend more time with them to strengthen your
friendships while you still can.
2) Meet New Friends
You should also meet as many NEW friends as possible
while you're single.
Why? Because relationships tend to take you AWAY from
your friends...so if you don't have many friends to start off
with, you may find yourself without any friends in a few years.
Furthermore, becoming more sociable is one of the best
ways to meet women. How many times have you met a stranger through
a friend who just happens to be very attractive?
If you know enough friends, you will never run out of
women to date.
3) Spend Time With Family
Spending time with family is a good way to "recharge"
your energy while you're single.
4) Find New hobbies
Spend some time on a new hobby or two while you're
single. Developing passion for different hobbies or subjects
will definitely make you a more interesting and well-rounded
person.
Plus, chances are you will be able to meet women who
enjoy the same hobbies as you do.
5) Sports and Fitness
Spend an hour or so at the gym everyday. It doesn't
matter if you're not in shape right now. Anyhow can improve
their physique by working out.
And of course...there are lots of hot and young,
beautiful women with very nice bodies at the gym...
You should also consider taking up a competitive
sport or two. It's good for building your masculinity, which
will become useful when you get back into the dating game.
6) Education and Self-Improvement
Take a few college classes and buy a few self-improvement
programs. You can NEVER spend too much time and money on
improving yourself, and you can quote me on that.
I personally spend at least 10 percent of my time and
income on my own education every month, which includes classes,
magazine subscriptions, psychology journals, books, newspapers,
and self-help programs.
7) Improve Your Dating skills
Lastly, you should improve your dating skills while
you're single, as you never know "when" you will bump into
your dream girl.
your single life before getting into a relationship. Today I'm
going to show you a couple of things that you can do while you're
still single.
1) Hang Out With Friends
Over the years, I've noticed that a big problem
most guys have when they get out of a long-term
relationship is that they have lost contact with all
their old friends.
I've also noticed a direct correlation between
unhappiness and having a lack of good friends, especially
when it comes to the "lone-wolfs".
A "lone-wolf" can focus all his energy on a woman
(or more than one woman if the lone-wolf is a player) in
the short-term. But when his romantic relationship(s) turn
south or he has a period of bad luck with women, he may
suddenly find himself depressed and unwilling to go out
because he has no friends.
I've seen more than a few amazing "players" go from
"pimp" to "depressed" because they lacked "normal" friendships
with other men while they were between women. It's sort of
like a bad cycle. You're very good with women so you don't
see the point of having male friends. But once in awhile
you have a bad streak of luck with women and so you "give up"
for awhile. But while you're "taking a break", you get into
depression mode because you don't have any buddies to hang
out with. Without any friends to motivate you, you slip
into further depression until you lose all your charm
with women.
Many of my readers who are in their late 20's, 30's
or 40's have told me similar problems. Here's the classic
story of how it happens:
1) Guy is young, handsome, and skilled with the
ladies.
2) Guy plays women and gets a lot of sex.
3) Guy meets "the one" and stops playing.
4) Guy loses all his friends due to lack of
contact.
5) Guy breaks up a few months or years later.
6) Guy doesn't know how to get out of the house
anymore because he has lost all his friends and
"skills".
7) Guy gets depressed.
Do not make the same mistake. When things are going
well for you, don't forget the buddies. And when you're
single, spend more time with them to strengthen your
friendships while you still can.
2) Meet New Friends
You should also meet as many NEW friends as possible
while you're single.
Why? Because relationships tend to take you AWAY from
your friends...so if you don't have many friends to start off
with, you may find yourself without any friends in a few years.
Furthermore, becoming more sociable is one of the best
ways to meet women. How many times have you met a stranger through
a friend who just happens to be very attractive?
If you know enough friends, you will never run out of
women to date.
3) Spend Time With Family
Spending time with family is a good way to "recharge"
your energy while you're single.
4) Find New hobbies
Spend some time on a new hobby or two while you're
single. Developing passion for different hobbies or subjects
will definitely make you a more interesting and well-rounded
person.
Plus, chances are you will be able to meet women who
enjoy the same hobbies as you do.
5) Sports and Fitness
Spend an hour or so at the gym everyday. It doesn't
matter if you're not in shape right now. Anyhow can improve
their physique by working out.
And of course...there are lots of hot and young,
beautiful women with very nice bodies at the gym...
You should also consider taking up a competitive
sport or two. It's good for building your masculinity, which
will become useful when you get back into the dating game.
6) Education and Self-Improvement
Take a few college classes and buy a few self-improvement
programs. You can NEVER spend too much time and money on
improving yourself, and you can quote me on that.
I personally spend at least 10 percent of my time and
income on my own education every month, which includes classes,
magazine subscriptions, psychology journals, books, newspapers,
and self-help programs.
7) Improve Your Dating skills
Lastly, you should improve your dating skills while
you're single, as you never know "when" you will bump into
your dream girl.
Are you really ready for a girl friend
As a dating coach, I often help guys that have been
devastated by recent breakups or guys that are frustrated by
their loneness as a single man. I often hear things such as,
"I don't know how live without her..." or "I have lost all
motivation to do any work since she rejected me."
You know what I always tell them?
"If you can't live without this woman, then you never
deserved her in the first place!"
These are harsh words, but true to the heart.
Bottom line: A man cannot expect a relationship a woman to
"complete" his life.
Quite often, I counsel guys who feel like all their problems
will go away as soon as they patch up with an ex-girlfriend or get
together with the girl they really like.
I also hear phrases such as, "What's the point of
going to work or finishing my degree...when I know she is not
going to be there with me anyway?"
One of my readers even wanted to drop out of college
to join the army because his girlfriend had cheated on him.
(Note: There is nothing wrong with joining the army. It
should just be a decision that you take SERIOUSLY -
and not as a way to escape the world. The military is
a profession and should you go after it, I want you to
succeed with it.)
This is absolutely crazy....I PROMISE you that if you
feel this way, then you are NEVER going to find true happiness.
In fact, even if you do come across the girl of your dreams, you
are probably going to push her AWAY from you with your neediness.
(Remember guys, being a challenge is the key to being attractive.)
Here's the advice of the day:
*****************************************************************
* *
*"You CANNOT enter a relationship before you've leart to *
*enjoy being single. You CANNOT be loved by a woman until *
*you've learnt to love yourself." *
* *
*****************************************************************
I know these words may sound very sappy, but every word
I've said so far has come from my years of experience as a dating
coach - and you can bet I've worked with thousands if not tens
of thousands of cases.
Here's the bottom line...If you're not too happy with
your current life right now...I highly suggest you work on
YOUR LIFE besides using my dating tips to flirt with women.
Over the years, I've observed that many guys tend
to be attracted to women with qualities that they don't have
themselves.
For example, we may be attracted to women who are
more sociable than we are.
We may be attracted to women who are better dressers
than we are.
We may be attracted to women who are more popular
than we are.
We may be attracted to women who seem to have more
money than we do. (Not kidding - lots of readers have told
me this.)
And if we don't get reciprocal feelings from these
women, then we remember that we are "losers" who don't have
the things they have. Some of us may even start isolating
ourselves or evading from the real world by indulging in
fantasies, playing computer games, or joining the army
just for the sake of growing up.
If you're one of these guys...THEN WAKE UP!
You won't "magically" get the qualities that
you seek by lusting after a more popular, more sociable,
more healthy, more talented (in whatever field), or
wealthier women.
What you REALLY need to do is to work on developing
these qualities IN YOURELF.
Instead of always falling in love with women who
communicate well, become a better conversationalist yourself.
Instead of always admiring women who seem to move
naturally and gracefully, work on your own body language.
Instead of putting women who are popular on a
pedestal and treating them as Goddesses because they are
more popular than you are, work on becoming more sociable
YOURSELF.
On the way, I promise you will end up meeting a
few women (if not many) who share the same traits - the
same traits that you have wanted to have all your life.
devastated by recent breakups or guys that are frustrated by
their loneness as a single man. I often hear things such as,
"I don't know how live without her..." or "I have lost all
motivation to do any work since she rejected me."
You know what I always tell them?
"If you can't live without this woman, then you never
deserved her in the first place!"
These are harsh words, but true to the heart.
Bottom line: A man cannot expect a relationship a woman to
"complete" his life.
Quite often, I counsel guys who feel like all their problems
will go away as soon as they patch up with an ex-girlfriend or get
together with the girl they really like.
I also hear phrases such as, "What's the point of
going to work or finishing my degree...when I know she is not
going to be there with me anyway?"
One of my readers even wanted to drop out of college
to join the army because his girlfriend had cheated on him.
(Note: There is nothing wrong with joining the army. It
should just be a decision that you take SERIOUSLY -
and not as a way to escape the world. The military is
a profession and should you go after it, I want you to
succeed with it.)
This is absolutely crazy....I PROMISE you that if you
feel this way, then you are NEVER going to find true happiness.
In fact, even if you do come across the girl of your dreams, you
are probably going to push her AWAY from you with your neediness.
(Remember guys, being a challenge is the key to being attractive.)
Here's the advice of the day:
*****************************************************************
* *
*"You CANNOT enter a relationship before you've leart to *
*enjoy being single. You CANNOT be loved by a woman until *
*you've learnt to love yourself." *
* *
*****************************************************************
I know these words may sound very sappy, but every word
I've said so far has come from my years of experience as a dating
coach - and you can bet I've worked with thousands if not tens
of thousands of cases.
Here's the bottom line...If you're not too happy with
your current life right now...I highly suggest you work on
YOUR LIFE besides using my dating tips to flirt with women.
Over the years, I've observed that many guys tend
to be attracted to women with qualities that they don't have
themselves.
For example, we may be attracted to women who are
more sociable than we are.
We may be attracted to women who are better dressers
than we are.
We may be attracted to women who are more popular
than we are.
We may be attracted to women who seem to have more
money than we do. (Not kidding - lots of readers have told
me this.)
And if we don't get reciprocal feelings from these
women, then we remember that we are "losers" who don't have
the things they have. Some of us may even start isolating
ourselves or evading from the real world by indulging in
fantasies, playing computer games, or joining the army
just for the sake of growing up.
If you're one of these guys...THEN WAKE UP!
You won't "magically" get the qualities that
you seek by lusting after a more popular, more sociable,
more healthy, more talented (in whatever field), or
wealthier women.
What you REALLY need to do is to work on developing
these qualities IN YOURELF.
Instead of always falling in love with women who
communicate well, become a better conversationalist yourself.
Instead of always admiring women who seem to move
naturally and gracefully, work on your own body language.
Instead of putting women who are popular on a
pedestal and treating them as Goddesses because they are
more popular than you are, work on becoming more sociable
YOURSELF.
On the way, I promise you will end up meeting a
few women (if not many) who share the same traits - the
same traits that you have wanted to have all your life.
How to get a woman choose you over other men
Today I'm going to teach you a very important lesson on
dating and life in general.
In business, people always ask, "What are you doing
that your competitors are not doing?"
I think the same principle applies to dating and women.
as well. As a Smart Dater, if you would like to have an
advantage over other guys, then you should always be asking
yourself the following question:
"What am I doing that other guys are not doing to attract
the ladies?"
With that said, here are some practical tips on how
you can "outdo" your competition.
1) Be BOLDER than other men
Being bolder than other men will give you an edge
other the average man, as most guys are afraid to take chances.
Don't be the guy who waits a long time before making a move on
a woman. Remember my philosophy: It is better to crash and burn
than to not do anything!
2) Flirt MORE than other men
Many guys think it is "wrong" to flirt with women.
But as a Smart Dater, you should know that flirting is just
a way of being friendly with women! (And the key to raising
attraction!)
3) Be MORE sociable than other men
This is an obivous fact. The more sociable you are
and the more women you meet, the greater your chances of
getting a girlfriend that you'll really like. "Shy" men
who don't have many friends tend to fall for the women
closest to them because they don't have any friends,
period.
4) Be MORE creative than other men
Don't use canned lines and don't do anything
stupid like passing a woman a note. It's not grade school
anymore.
5) Be MORE relaxed and spontaneous than other men
Being more relaxed and spontaneous can automatically
make you appear more confident than other men. Besides,
as I told a reader the other day, if you're tense you will
fail with ANY technique that I teach you. You must use my
techniques naturally!
6) Tease women MORE than other men
Many men are afraid of "offending" women. Use this
to your advantage and tease women more than them.
7) Be MORE of a challenge than other men
Everybody enjoys a good challenge. Be more of a
challenge than other guys and the ladies will come to you.
8) Be MORE knowledgable than other men
dating and life in general.
In business, people always ask, "What are you doing
that your competitors are not doing?"
I think the same principle applies to dating and women.
as well. As a Smart Dater, if you would like to have an
advantage over other guys, then you should always be asking
yourself the following question:
"What am I doing that other guys are not doing to attract
the ladies?"
With that said, here are some practical tips on how
you can "outdo" your competition.
1) Be BOLDER than other men
Being bolder than other men will give you an edge
other the average man, as most guys are afraid to take chances.
Don't be the guy who waits a long time before making a move on
a woman. Remember my philosophy: It is better to crash and burn
than to not do anything!
2) Flirt MORE than other men
Many guys think it is "wrong" to flirt with women.
But as a Smart Dater, you should know that flirting is just
a way of being friendly with women! (And the key to raising
attraction!)
3) Be MORE sociable than other men
This is an obivous fact. The more sociable you are
and the more women you meet, the greater your chances of
getting a girlfriend that you'll really like. "Shy" men
who don't have many friends tend to fall for the women
closest to them because they don't have any friends,
period.
4) Be MORE creative than other men
Don't use canned lines and don't do anything
stupid like passing a woman a note. It's not grade school
anymore.
5) Be MORE relaxed and spontaneous than other men
Being more relaxed and spontaneous can automatically
make you appear more confident than other men. Besides,
as I told a reader the other day, if you're tense you will
fail with ANY technique that I teach you. You must use my
techniques naturally!
6) Tease women MORE than other men
Many men are afraid of "offending" women. Use this
to your advantage and tease women more than them.
7) Be MORE of a challenge than other men
Everybody enjoys a good challenge. Be more of a
challenge than other guys and the ladies will come to you.
8) Be MORE knowledgable than other men
What to do if she don't want to commit
I am often asked, "What should I do if the woman I am
dating does not want to commit to our relationship as much as
I do?"
Honestly, if this is the case, you've got a problem.
Either you're moving too fast, or her character and attraction
are not high enough.
A good relationship requires BOTH parties to be EQUALLY
committed to each other. If one party shows much more eagerness
to commit than the other, then the other person is going to
feel pressured.
Have you ever had a man or woman tell you they feel they're
being suffocated by a relationship? This is precisely what happens
when one party is more interested in the relationship than the
other.
The party with less interest feels suffocated...and this
often lead to a breakup!
So...what do you do if your girl does not want to commit
as much as you do?
Pull back from the relationship a little and see how
she reacts. If she "freaks out" and realizes that she does need
you, then congratulations - you've just given her more motivation
to commit to the relationship.
But if she doesn't care at all...or even worse...she only
seems to care more about the relationship for a SHORT while after
you've played hard to get, then it's a sign that the relationship
is NOT going to work out in the long run.
As you can see, unlike most dating coaches out there,
I actually teach you more than just how to "pickup women" - I
actually show you how you can meet women for the possibility of
finding a GOOD girlfriend (and not just any "slut" either) for
the long-run.
dating does not want to commit to our relationship as much as
I do?"
Honestly, if this is the case, you've got a problem.
Either you're moving too fast, or her character and attraction
are not high enough.
A good relationship requires BOTH parties to be EQUALLY
committed to each other. If one party shows much more eagerness
to commit than the other, then the other person is going to
feel pressured.
Have you ever had a man or woman tell you they feel they're
being suffocated by a relationship? This is precisely what happens
when one party is more interested in the relationship than the
other.
The party with less interest feels suffocated...and this
often lead to a breakup!
So...what do you do if your girl does not want to commit
as much as you do?
Pull back from the relationship a little and see how
she reacts. If she "freaks out" and realizes that she does need
you, then congratulations - you've just given her more motivation
to commit to the relationship.
But if she doesn't care at all...or even worse...she only
seems to care more about the relationship for a SHORT while after
you've played hard to get, then it's a sign that the relationship
is NOT going to work out in the long run.
As you can see, unlike most dating coaches out there,
I actually teach you more than just how to "pickup women" - I
actually show you how you can meet women for the possibility of
finding a GOOD girlfriend (and not just any "slut" either) for
the long-run.
What you should do if you run into an EX girl friend
If you ever break up with a woman and then run into her
later (especially when she is already dating another man...), it
can be a very difficult and embarrassing situation for both of
you...
In fact...you will probably find it very difficult to
be nice and polite to her...
But you've got to try.
Yes, I know how tempting it is to make "smart-ass" or
sarcastic comments and remarks.
I know how tempting it is to glare at the "other guy"
defensively.
I know how tempting it is to have feelings of revenge,
especially if you're been dumped. (First-time readers email
me to ask how they can take revenge on their ex's all the time.)
Or...if you're still in love with your ex, I know how
tempting it is to beg her to get back together with you.
Or to keep staring at her without knowing what to say.
But none of this childish behaviour will bring you
ANY good. It won't impress your ex or make her have more
respect for you, and it certainly won't help you win her back.
Here's my advice on how to deal with run-in encounters
with an ex-girlfriend:
1) If you have no intention of getting back together,
then just remain calm and polite during your BRIEF conversation
with her, and excuse yourself at the earliest moment. (So neither
of you will suddenly feel jealous or attraction again.)
2) Or...if you DO want to get her back, then act calm
and CONFIDENT, and talk to her as if you guys never went out
in the first place.
Do NOT mention the past relationship.
Do NOT try to "impress" her.
Do NOT beg her to come back.
Instead...just have a CASUAL conversation with her -
the same kind of conversation you would have with ANY woman
you meet. Smile and RELAX - even if you're burning inside.
Tease her a little and see if her responses are
positive. If they are, then flirt just a tiny bit...all
without asking to get back. Then tell her you'll talk to
her at another time and excuse yourself. Leave and walk
tall on the way out.
If you're with another girl, then feel free to
introduce her to your ex - WITHOUT telling your ex you're
dating her. Let your ex GUESS if you've moved on with your
life. Let her miss you. (In this scenario, do not flirt with
your ex, as it would be insulting to the other girl...)
Remember, guys...self-control is ESSENTIAL to
ANY area of life - including dating.
So have self-control and play it cool when you run
into your ex - it may help you win her back!
later (especially when she is already dating another man...), it
can be a very difficult and embarrassing situation for both of
you...
In fact...you will probably find it very difficult to
be nice and polite to her...
But you've got to try.
Yes, I know how tempting it is to make "smart-ass" or
sarcastic comments and remarks.
I know how tempting it is to glare at the "other guy"
defensively.
I know how tempting it is to have feelings of revenge,
especially if you're been dumped. (First-time readers email
me to ask how they can take revenge on their ex's all the time.)
Or...if you're still in love with your ex, I know how
tempting it is to beg her to get back together with you.
Or to keep staring at her without knowing what to say.
But none of this childish behaviour will bring you
ANY good. It won't impress your ex or make her have more
respect for you, and it certainly won't help you win her back.
Here's my advice on how to deal with run-in encounters
with an ex-girlfriend:
1) If you have no intention of getting back together,
then just remain calm and polite during your BRIEF conversation
with her, and excuse yourself at the earliest moment. (So neither
of you will suddenly feel jealous or attraction again.)
2) Or...if you DO want to get her back, then act calm
and CONFIDENT, and talk to her as if you guys never went out
in the first place.
Do NOT mention the past relationship.
Do NOT try to "impress" her.
Do NOT beg her to come back.
Instead...just have a CASUAL conversation with her -
the same kind of conversation you would have with ANY woman
you meet. Smile and RELAX - even if you're burning inside.
Tease her a little and see if her responses are
positive. If they are, then flirt just a tiny bit...all
without asking to get back. Then tell her you'll talk to
her at another time and excuse yourself. Leave and walk
tall on the way out.
If you're with another girl, then feel free to
introduce her to your ex - WITHOUT telling your ex you're
dating her. Let your ex GUESS if you've moved on with your
life. Let her miss you. (In this scenario, do not flirt with
your ex, as it would be insulting to the other girl...)
Remember, guys...self-control is ESSENTIAL to
ANY area of life - including dating.
So have self-control and play it cool when you run
into your ex - it may help you win her back!
How to deal with cock blockers that insults you in front of ur girl
A common question that I get from my readers all the time
is,
"What should I do if another man insults me or makes
fun of me while I am with a woman?"
Here's my recommendation:
Do what politicians do: laugh it off!!!
Remember...a person's words can only hurt you if you react
to their negativity. They only win when YOU allow them to. But if
you act like you don't care about the stupid comment at all, then
all of a sudden...the insult loses its power!!!
So next time a "big guy" tries to put you down or make
fun of you when he sees you with a beautiful woman, here is what
I want you to do:
Smile!
I want you to flash your biggest, brightest, and cockiest
smile at him. You can even shake your head a bit as you throw back
your head and laugh with him. This will show that you're the alpha
male of the group, and that no matter what he has just said, he's
still the loser - not you.
Also, if you're a very witty person, you can consider
throwing back the person's insult with a witty retort after
disarming him with your laugh.
is,
"What should I do if another man insults me or makes
fun of me while I am with a woman?"
Here's my recommendation:
Do what politicians do: laugh it off!!!
Remember...a person's words can only hurt you if you react
to their negativity. They only win when YOU allow them to. But if
you act like you don't care about the stupid comment at all, then
all of a sudden...the insult loses its power!!!
So next time a "big guy" tries to put you down or make
fun of you when he sees you with a beautiful woman, here is what
I want you to do:
Smile!
I want you to flash your biggest, brightest, and cockiest
smile at him. You can even shake your head a bit as you throw back
your head and laugh with him. This will show that you're the alpha
male of the group, and that no matter what he has just said, he's
still the loser - not you.
Also, if you're a very witty person, you can consider
throwing back the person's insult with a witty retort after
disarming him with your laugh.
How to project supreme confidence
Today, I'm going to teach you 10 techniques you can use
to project SUPREME CONFIDENCE while on a first date. (Remember:
If you don't show confidence on a first date, you'll NEVER get a
second date.)
1) Don't Ask, Lead
This one is VERY important. A lot of guys ask stupid
things like "Would you like to go to this restaurant?", "Can I
go to the bathroom", or even worse, "Can we do this again some
other time?"
And they wonder why they never get a second date!
Listen, buddy. Confident men do NOT ask women for
permission to do ANYTHING. They JUST do it. They don't ask for
a kiss. They don't ask for a second date. They don't ask for
ANYTHING.
So next time you go out on a date...please...JUST LEAD
THE WAY. Instead of asking "Can we...", just say "let's..." and
lead her by the arm.
But never, never, NEVER ask a woman ANYTHING. Remember,
boys: If a woman doesn't like something, she will make sure
you know.
2) Never Give a Direct "Yes".
This is a VERY good idea to stay in control while out
on a date. If a woman asks you for something, don't just give
it to her like all the other pussy guys out there. Make her
WORK for it. (Remember, psychology tells us that we appreciate
the things we have to WORK for MUCH more than the "freebies".)
For example...if she asks, "Can we go to Japanese?"
Don't just say "yes." Say..."Maybe...", or be funny and
tease her, "I don't know, only good girls get treated to
Japanese. Are you a nice girl?"
Or if she asks, "Can we sit over there?", instead of
just following her ass like most guys would, grow some
spine and say, "No. I'd rather sit here. It's a much nicer
view here."
The key is to start getting you to act like a MAN.
3) Don't let her "interview" you.
If you want a second date, then you better not let
your woman "interview" you. Women love to interview men on a
first date...so they can weed out all the losers. And guess
what? That means if you screw up on just ONE question...
you're a GONER. G-O-N-E-R. Goner.
And this is EXACTLY why you shouldn't let her interview
you in the first place. Whenever she asks things like "So
what do you do" or "How much do you make?", just give her a
silly answer...like..."Why, are you one of those superficial
women? How much do YOU make?"
Whatever she says, just TURN IT AROUND playfully.
4) Lift up Your Chest, Tuck Your Tummy In
Want to project confidence physically? Do what Sergeant
Marius says in Bootcamp, "Chest up, tummy in, boys."
This will NATURALLY put you in a confident position.
Ever seen a marine walk? That's how I want you
to walk. Chest up, tummy in, soldier!
5) End The Date Early
So the date has been going really well and there's
a LOT of chemistry between you and your new love.
End it now.
I am serious. I want you to ALWAYS end the date early
to keep the power in YOU. Make your date wonder why you have
to go. Make her WANT to go with you again.
Most guys just drag a good date on and on until
it becomes a bad date. Don't be one of them. Be a man and
have the power and self-control to end it early.
6) Don't Let Her Challenge You
If you act like a wussy and back down whenever a woman
challenges you, her attraction for you is going to drop
faster than an apple dropping down from a tree. Most guys make
the mistake of thinking they should never risk "offending"
a woman by showing her their spines.
WRONG.
Never bow down to a woman you like. Don't suck up to
her whenever she challenges you. Because if you do, she's going
to lose respect for you as a potential boyfriend or lover.
So next time a woman challenges you, have some spine
and stand up for yourself.
For example...
If a woman tries to challenge you or to seduce you by
staring into your eyes, stare back. Don't look away until SHE does.
(The moment you look away and blush in shyness, she's going to
lose respect for you as a man and find another man who's
stronger.)
7) Don't Talk About A Second Date
Never talk about a second date while you're still on
the first date. Be a challenge - don't act like a eager beaver.
Remember my golden rule: Take it one date at a time.
8) Don't Tell Her You Like Her
Never, never, NEVER tell a woman you like her. Don't
EVER try to "express your feelings for her". That is worse
than ripping your own spine out and strangling yourself
with it. I am not kidding. Once it's out in the open that you
like her, half the game is over. SHE will have all the power,
not you.
Girls love trying to figure out if a guy likes them or not.
It's part of the dating game. So don't take it away from them!
9) Let Her Think She's Not The Only One
If she asks you if you're seeing anybody else, don't
freak out and say, "No. Just you." Be a MAN and be a CHALLANGE.
Say something like, "Well, I have a couple of possible prospects
right now. We'll see who wins." Then flash her a smile.
10) Be In Control From The Beginning To The End
to project SUPREME CONFIDENCE while on a first date. (Remember:
If you don't show confidence on a first date, you'll NEVER get a
second date.)
1) Don't Ask, Lead
This one is VERY important. A lot of guys ask stupid
things like "Would you like to go to this restaurant?", "Can I
go to the bathroom", or even worse, "Can we do this again some
other time?"
And they wonder why they never get a second date!
Listen, buddy. Confident men do NOT ask women for
permission to do ANYTHING. They JUST do it. They don't ask for
a kiss. They don't ask for a second date. They don't ask for
ANYTHING.
So next time you go out on a date...please...JUST LEAD
THE WAY. Instead of asking "Can we...", just say "let's..." and
lead her by the arm.
But never, never, NEVER ask a woman ANYTHING. Remember,
boys: If a woman doesn't like something, she will make sure
you know.
2) Never Give a Direct "Yes".
This is a VERY good idea to stay in control while out
on a date. If a woman asks you for something, don't just give
it to her like all the other pussy guys out there. Make her
WORK for it. (Remember, psychology tells us that we appreciate
the things we have to WORK for MUCH more than the "freebies".)
For example...if she asks, "Can we go to Japanese?"
Don't just say "yes." Say..."Maybe...", or be funny and
tease her, "I don't know, only good girls get treated to
Japanese. Are you a nice girl?"
Or if she asks, "Can we sit over there?", instead of
just following her ass like most guys would, grow some
spine and say, "No. I'd rather sit here. It's a much nicer
view here."
The key is to start getting you to act like a MAN.
3) Don't let her "interview" you.
If you want a second date, then you better not let
your woman "interview" you. Women love to interview men on a
first date...so they can weed out all the losers. And guess
what? That means if you screw up on just ONE question...
you're a GONER. G-O-N-E-R. Goner.
And this is EXACTLY why you shouldn't let her interview
you in the first place. Whenever she asks things like "So
what do you do" or "How much do you make?", just give her a
silly answer...like..."Why, are you one of those superficial
women? How much do YOU make?"
Whatever she says, just TURN IT AROUND playfully.
4) Lift up Your Chest, Tuck Your Tummy In
Want to project confidence physically? Do what Sergeant
Marius says in Bootcamp, "Chest up, tummy in, boys."
This will NATURALLY put you in a confident position.
Ever seen a marine walk? That's how I want you
to walk. Chest up, tummy in, soldier!
5) End The Date Early
So the date has been going really well and there's
a LOT of chemistry between you and your new love.
End it now.
I am serious. I want you to ALWAYS end the date early
to keep the power in YOU. Make your date wonder why you have
to go. Make her WANT to go with you again.
Most guys just drag a good date on and on until
it becomes a bad date. Don't be one of them. Be a man and
have the power and self-control to end it early.
6) Don't Let Her Challenge You
If you act like a wussy and back down whenever a woman
challenges you, her attraction for you is going to drop
faster than an apple dropping down from a tree. Most guys make
the mistake of thinking they should never risk "offending"
a woman by showing her their spines.
WRONG.
Never bow down to a woman you like. Don't suck up to
her whenever she challenges you. Because if you do, she's going
to lose respect for you as a potential boyfriend or lover.
So next time a woman challenges you, have some spine
and stand up for yourself.
For example...
If a woman tries to challenge you or to seduce you by
staring into your eyes, stare back. Don't look away until SHE does.
(The moment you look away and blush in shyness, she's going to
lose respect for you as a man and find another man who's
stronger.)
7) Don't Talk About A Second Date
Never talk about a second date while you're still on
the first date. Be a challenge - don't act like a eager beaver.
Remember my golden rule: Take it one date at a time.
8) Don't Tell Her You Like Her
Never, never, NEVER tell a woman you like her. Don't
EVER try to "express your feelings for her". That is worse
than ripping your own spine out and strangling yourself
with it. I am not kidding. Once it's out in the open that you
like her, half the game is over. SHE will have all the power,
not you.
Girls love trying to figure out if a guy likes them or not.
It's part of the dating game. So don't take it away from them!
9) Let Her Think She's Not The Only One
If she asks you if you're seeing anybody else, don't
freak out and say, "No. Just you." Be a MAN and be a CHALLANGE.
Say something like, "Well, I have a couple of possible prospects
right now. We'll see who wins." Then flash her a smile.
10) Be In Control From The Beginning To The End
12 signs you should leave a woman
1) She is addicted to drugs.
Sorry, call me a jerk, but there's no compromise for
this one. I've seen WAY too many readers get burned by going
out with junkies.
2) She has cheated on you more than once.
Letting her come back the first time was already a
mistake. Don't make the same mistake again.
3) You don't like being with her except for the sex.
You can get sex off any woman. So no matter how good
sex with a particular woman is, it can NOT be the only reason
to stay with her.
4) You know she doesn't like you.
If you know that she does't like you, then you should
also know that she'll leave you as soon as she finds someone
better.
5) She is too needy and demanding.
Women who are a tiny bit needy is okay. But if a woman
is extremely demanding of you, then you should find someone
who's not as demanding.
6) She comes between you and your friends.
women come, women go, but best friends are for life.
Don't lose your friends - or when you finally break up with
a woman, you're going to find yourself without any friends!
7) She doesn't respect you.
If a woman doesn't show you the respect you deserve,
leave without looking back. It will NOT work out anyway.
8) You don't respect her.
I you don't respect a woman as your equal, you're not
going to be happy with her in a relationship. You'll either
be unhappy, or you'll cheat.
9) She has constant emotional problems.
Don't fall pray to drama queens and other emotional
vampires. They will suck all the energy out of you and then
move on to their next victims.
10) You don't like yourself when you're with her.
If you don't like who you are when you're not with a
woman, she is NOT going to make a good long-term girlfriend
for you no matter how hot she is.
11) You're not physically attracted to her anymore.
Never stay with a woman just because you're afraid
of hurting her should you break up. It will only hurt her more
in the end.
12) You keep thinking, "Maybe things will get better..."
After hearing dozens of cases from my readers every week,
I can guarantee you that it won't.
Sorry, call me a jerk, but there's no compromise for
this one. I've seen WAY too many readers get burned by going
out with junkies.
2) She has cheated on you more than once.
Letting her come back the first time was already a
mistake. Don't make the same mistake again.
3) You don't like being with her except for the sex.
You can get sex off any woman. So no matter how good
sex with a particular woman is, it can NOT be the only reason
to stay with her.
4) You know she doesn't like you.
If you know that she does't like you, then you should
also know that she'll leave you as soon as she finds someone
better.
5) She is too needy and demanding.
Women who are a tiny bit needy is okay. But if a woman
is extremely demanding of you, then you should find someone
who's not as demanding.
6) She comes between you and your friends.
women come, women go, but best friends are for life.
Don't lose your friends - or when you finally break up with
a woman, you're going to find yourself without any friends!
7) She doesn't respect you.
If a woman doesn't show you the respect you deserve,
leave without looking back. It will NOT work out anyway.
8) You don't respect her.
I you don't respect a woman as your equal, you're not
going to be happy with her in a relationship. You'll either
be unhappy, or you'll cheat.
9) She has constant emotional problems.
Don't fall pray to drama queens and other emotional
vampires. They will suck all the energy out of you and then
move on to their next victims.
10) You don't like yourself when you're with her.
If you don't like who you are when you're not with a
woman, she is NOT going to make a good long-term girlfriend
for you no matter how hot she is.
11) You're not physically attracted to her anymore.
Never stay with a woman just because you're afraid
of hurting her should you break up. It will only hurt her more
in the end.
12) You keep thinking, "Maybe things will get better..."
After hearing dozens of cases from my readers every week,
I can guarantee you that it won't.
What to do when catch a woman checking you out
Today's tip will be VERY short. I'm going to tell you
what to do when you check a woman checking you out...
The answer is really quite simple:
Approach her!!!
Remember that women are naturally attracted to men who
are bold, direct, and confident. So if you find a woman checking
you out, just approach her and say "Hi" with a big smile.
If she goes like, "whaaaat?" just flash her another smile
and say, "Nothing. Just thought you might be a interesting person
and so I came up to say 'Hi'. What's your name?"
Or...if you're in a nightclub setting, you can flash
her a big smile or even toast her a drink from across the
room. Then then turn around casually and resume your conversation
with your buddies. Wait 10 to 15 minutes, and then approach her
table. (This is called a 2-stage approach and it works like a
charm.)
what to do when you check a woman checking you out...
The answer is really quite simple:
Approach her!!!
Remember that women are naturally attracted to men who
are bold, direct, and confident. So if you find a woman checking
you out, just approach her and say "Hi" with a big smile.
If she goes like, "whaaaat?" just flash her another smile
and say, "Nothing. Just thought you might be a interesting person
and so I came up to say 'Hi'. What's your name?"
Or...if you're in a nightclub setting, you can flash
her a big smile or even toast her a drink from across the
room. Then then turn around casually and resume your conversation
with your buddies. Wait 10 to 15 minutes, and then approach her
table. (This is called a 2-stage approach and it works like a
charm.)
Why you should let a woman catch you checking her
Last time I taught you how to make "accidental eye
contact" with women. Today I'm going to teach you another cool
trick: how to raise sexual tension by letting your date CATCH
you checking her out.
Many guys are AFRAID of letting their dates catch
them checking them out because they are afraid of what their
dates will think of them. (Example: "What if she thinks
I am a pervert???")
I think this is garbage. In fact, I think you should
let her notice it on purpose!
Listen: Your date has spent a lot of time getting
ready to go out with you. The least you could do is to pay
her a little bit of attention!
Next time you go out with a woman, linger your eyes
on her for JUST a little bit too long - until she "catches"
you looking.
Just remeber that this MUST be done in a confident
way. If you show ANY hestitation or nervousness, it's going
to ruin everything.
At this point, she'll probably blush or give you a
"what?" Respond by teasing her casually. (Such as her hair
or skirt.)
Why tease her instead of giving her a compliment?
Because she has already SEEN you checking her out...which
is really a non-verbal compliment itself. There's really
NO reason to state it again verbally. Instead of repetiting
yourself with words, just use this as an opputurnity to tease
her!
contact" with women. Today I'm going to teach you another cool
trick: how to raise sexual tension by letting your date CATCH
you checking her out.
Many guys are AFRAID of letting their dates catch
them checking them out because they are afraid of what their
dates will think of them. (Example: "What if she thinks
I am a pervert???")
I think this is garbage. In fact, I think you should
let her notice it on purpose!
Listen: Your date has spent a lot of time getting
ready to go out with you. The least you could do is to pay
her a little bit of attention!
Next time you go out with a woman, linger your eyes
on her for JUST a little bit too long - until she "catches"
you looking.
Just remeber that this MUST be done in a confident
way. If you show ANY hestitation or nervousness, it's going
to ruin everything.
At this point, she'll probably blush or give you a
"what?" Respond by teasing her casually. (Such as her hair
or skirt.)
Why tease her instead of giving her a compliment?
Because she has already SEEN you checking her out...which
is really a non-verbal compliment itself. There's really
NO reason to state it again verbally. Instead of repetiting
yourself with words, just use this as an opputurnity to tease
her!
How not to lose your girl friend
Here is how to not lose your girlfriend:
1) Don't Think Your Work Is Finished
Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean
you will keep her. Here is a pattern that I see all the
time as a dating and relationships coach:
Guy chases girl.
Guy gets girl.
Guy stops doing the things that helped him get the girl.
Guy loses girl.
Are you going to be one of these guys? I hope not!
2) Don't Ignore The Details
If you want to keep a woman, then pay attention
to details. Notice the things she does and give her
special attention. When she is unhappy, read between the
lines instead of just taking her word for it. Because
if you ask her what's wrong, she will just say "Nothing."
It is up to you to read into the details and
see why she is upset. But don't worry, it doesn't
take a genius to understand women. With a little bit of
practice, you will be able to do it too.
3) Don't Stop Being A Challenge
As I say all the time, if you stop being a
challenge in a relationship, romantic respect will
drop and attraction will lower over time.
4) Don't Freak Out Over Her Ex's
A lot of my readers freak out when their
partners talk to their ex's. This is a normal reaction,
but next time it happens, ask yourself this question:
"Is there anything I can do to lower my partner's
possible attraction towards an ex?" The answer is "no" and
you should leave it at that. You can't change how a woman
feels about another man, so just focus on keeping her
attraction towards you high.
If she likes you enough, she won't think about
other guys - unless she has bad character. (In this
case, you don't want to date her anyway!)
5) Don't Criticize Her In Front Of People
Remember my golden rule: always compliment your
girlfriend or wife in public. Don't put her down in front
of other people!
6) Don't Clash With Her Friends And Family
Do your best to avoid clashing with her friends
and family. Put on a smile and be polite no matter how
much you dislike them. After all, you don't want her to
have to choose between you and them, do you?
7) Don't "Just" Be Her Best Friend
Don't just be a woman's best friend. Be her
lover. Keep the stakes and attraction high, and she
won't leave you.
8) Don't Let Her Stop Over Your Boundaries
Don't be a doormat and let women walk all
over you like so many guys do. Define your boundaries
clearly and don't let your partner step over them.
Appeasement cannot keep a woman close to you
in the long run!
9) Don't Try To Solve Her Problems
When a woman is sad, she wants to be comforted,
not lectured to. Keep your solutions for her problems to
yourself for now. Give her a hug and listen to her talk.
Use my happy walk technique to cheer her up if necessary.
10) Don't Stop Being Romantic
1) Don't Think Your Work Is Finished
Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean
you will keep her. Here is a pattern that I see all the
time as a dating and relationships coach:
Guy chases girl.
Guy gets girl.
Guy stops doing the things that helped him get the girl.
Guy loses girl.
Are you going to be one of these guys? I hope not!
2) Don't Ignore The Details
If you want to keep a woman, then pay attention
to details. Notice the things she does and give her
special attention. When she is unhappy, read between the
lines instead of just taking her word for it. Because
if you ask her what's wrong, she will just say "Nothing."
It is up to you to read into the details and
see why she is upset. But don't worry, it doesn't
take a genius to understand women. With a little bit of
practice, you will be able to do it too.
3) Don't Stop Being A Challenge
As I say all the time, if you stop being a
challenge in a relationship, romantic respect will
drop and attraction will lower over time.
4) Don't Freak Out Over Her Ex's
A lot of my readers freak out when their
partners talk to their ex's. This is a normal reaction,
but next time it happens, ask yourself this question:
"Is there anything I can do to lower my partner's
possible attraction towards an ex?" The answer is "no" and
you should leave it at that. You can't change how a woman
feels about another man, so just focus on keeping her
attraction towards you high.
If she likes you enough, she won't think about
other guys - unless she has bad character. (In this
case, you don't want to date her anyway!)
5) Don't Criticize Her In Front Of People
Remember my golden rule: always compliment your
girlfriend or wife in public. Don't put her down in front
of other people!
6) Don't Clash With Her Friends And Family
Do your best to avoid clashing with her friends
and family. Put on a smile and be polite no matter how
much you dislike them. After all, you don't want her to
have to choose between you and them, do you?
7) Don't "Just" Be Her Best Friend
Don't just be a woman's best friend. Be her
lover. Keep the stakes and attraction high, and she
won't leave you.
8) Don't Let Her Stop Over Your Boundaries
Don't be a doormat and let women walk all
over you like so many guys do. Define your boundaries
clearly and don't let your partner step over them.
Appeasement cannot keep a woman close to you
in the long run!
9) Don't Try To Solve Her Problems
When a woman is sad, she wants to be comforted,
not lectured to. Keep your solutions for her problems to
yourself for now. Give her a hug and listen to her talk.
Use my happy walk technique to cheer her up if necessary.
10) Don't Stop Being Romantic
What if she start talking about sex
A question that I often get is, "What if a woman starts
talking or joking about sex on a first date?"
In my experience, this is often a test.
If you become uncomfortable with her sexual comments,
she's going to know that you're not uncomfortable with your
own sexuality.
In other words, you fail the test.
Or, if you get all excited and talk about sex with her,
you also fail because it shows you're quite desperate. (A man
who gets plenty of regular sex has no reason to get enthusiastic
when the subject comes up.)
So...how do you respond?
Just smile coolly as you look at her in the eyes, as if
you've "got the joke" but don't think it's a big deal. Just
casually react to her, as a man who gets plenty of sex already
would react.
Or...to take things one step further, you could look
it her in the eyes and then in the lips to create sexual tension,
as if you're thinking, "I know what you're thinking..."
talking or joking about sex on a first date?"
In my experience, this is often a test.
If you become uncomfortable with her sexual comments,
she's going to know that you're not uncomfortable with your
own sexuality.
In other words, you fail the test.
Or, if you get all excited and talk about sex with her,
you also fail because it shows you're quite desperate. (A man
who gets plenty of regular sex has no reason to get enthusiastic
when the subject comes up.)
So...how do you respond?
Just smile coolly as you look at her in the eyes, as if
you've "got the joke" but don't think it's a big deal. Just
casually react to her, as a man who gets plenty of sex already
would react.
Or...to take things one step further, you could look
it her in the eyes and then in the lips to create sexual tension,
as if you're thinking, "I know what you're thinking..."
Practice makes perfect
I am sure you have heard of the saying, "Practice
makes perfect."
But does it apply to dating?
Well...personally, I think here's a better statement:
"Practice makes permanent."
The theory behind the idea that 'practice makes perfect'
is that the frequent repetition of a certain action (such as
approaching a woman or asking a women out) will eventually
establish it as a normal pattern. The more you repeat it, the
more firmly established your pattern will be.
This is good if you're practicing the RIGHT way.
However, if you practicing the WRONG way in
the first place, then repetition is going to make things WORSE
for you when it comes to getting women.
Here's an extreme example:
One of my readers had a habit of giving a woman a
"thumbs up" whenever he conversed with one. He first started
it "by accident" when he needed some kind of gesture to
"act cool" in front of a woman he talked to. But the next
time he approached another woman, he did it again...
And again, again and again...
It didn't take long for it to become a habit,
and he soon he found himself giving a "thumbs up" to
every woman he met.
It took him a long time to "undo" this habit.
So how do you avoid practicing the "wrong" things
and ruining your dating game as a result? Well, here are
some tips to help you stay on the right track while
you're practicing.
1) Avoid Mindless Repetition
Mindless repetition is not going to help you
any. You could ask a 100 women for their phone numbers...
but if you do it just for the sake of completing a certain
exercise, it's not going to help you at all. Rather, it
will probably reinforce your bad habits.
(Example: Don't be like the guy who gives women a "thumbs
up" every time. Avoid mindless repetition!)
2) See It As An Art Form
The best way to avoid mindless repetition is to
see dating as an art form. When you treat something as an
art form, you're going to pay more attention to the PROCESS
than the RESULTS. A classical pianist will often play
the same passage over and over to look for imperfection.
Have the same mindset when you're practicing your dating
skills. Learn to appreciate your good work, and at the
same time look for things that you can improve on.
(Example: Let go of your expectations and focus on
improving your skills.)
3) Learn From A Valid Source
Make sure you learn your techniques and strategies from
a valid dating coach - not from an Internet Marketer
who has paid someone on Elance $500 to write an ebook
on dating. Lots of "dating advice" websites have popped up
in the past year, and there's a lot of misinformation
out there. If a certain technique sounds spooky to you,
feel free to email me and ask for my opinion.
(Example: Don't use the stupid business card trick that
I've warned you about a few months ago. Be weary of sites
that look like a porn site and use pictures to arouse you,
etc. Email the site a few dating questions and see what
kind of answers you get. Most of the time, you won't
get an answer at all.)
4) Think About It
Spend as much time THINKING as you do practicing. Practicing
is useless you actually THINK about what you're doing!
(Example: Keep a journal and write down your experiences.)
5) Analyze And Find Solutions
Analyze your results and think about your current problems
and obstacles. Then find a solution to fix your problem.
(Example: If you find yourself Speaking too quickly in
front of a woman, then slow down instead of just repeatng
what you've been doing all along!)
6) Isolate One Thing
Practice one thing at a time instead of trying
everything at once. This way you will know PRECISELY what
it is that you're doing right or wrong. Isolate your
mistakes and learn from them, and in time you can only
improve your success.
(Example: Work on speaking clearly on the first day and on
speaking louder on the second day.)
7) Relate It To The Bigger Picture
Practicing is useless and boring unless you see how it
relates to the big picture. For example, when you practice
smiling at a woman, don't do it because Marius told you to.
Do it because you know it's a way to make women feel
comfortable around you.
(Example: Read the first few chapters of my "Smart Dating
Course" to get the basic concepts drilled into your head.
This way you will see how the techniques actually fit nicely
into our "Smart Dating Model".)
8) Imitate A Master
Look around you and find men that are REALLY good with
women. Imitate their actions and practice doing what
they would do if they were put in the same situation.
(Example: Go rent a Tom Cruise movie and practice
imitating his body language. Then when you go out on
a date, ask yourself, "What would Tom Cruise do?")
9) Don't Avoid Mistakes
You can't have good luck unless you have had bad luck
in the past, and you can't taste success until you
have made mistakes first. Until you feel what it is
like to do something wrong, you're not going to know
if you're doing something right.
(Example: Try to laugh about your mistakes to yourself
and see them as part of your learning experience. At
least you're conscious about your mistakes unlike most
guys. That makes a HUGE difference!)
10) Learn To Feel
Let yourself immerse into the experience every time. For
example...if you're a swimmer, you should know what it's
like to feel every stroke in the water. Or if you're a
musician, you should know what it's like to feel the
music.
Try to do the same thing with dating and with your social
life in general. When you've involved in a good
conversation, sink in the energy and FEEL what it's like
to be right. Or when things aren't going too well, then
FEEL the warning signs. In time, you will build up
your intuition and that is when you will REALLY become a
master at social dynamics.
makes perfect."
But does it apply to dating?
Well...personally, I think here's a better statement:
"Practice makes permanent."
The theory behind the idea that 'practice makes perfect'
is that the frequent repetition of a certain action (such as
approaching a woman or asking a women out) will eventually
establish it as a normal pattern. The more you repeat it, the
more firmly established your pattern will be.
This is good if you're practicing the RIGHT way.
However, if you practicing the WRONG way in
the first place, then repetition is going to make things WORSE
for you when it comes to getting women.
Here's an extreme example:
One of my readers had a habit of giving a woman a
"thumbs up" whenever he conversed with one. He first started
it "by accident" when he needed some kind of gesture to
"act cool" in front of a woman he talked to. But the next
time he approached another woman, he did it again...
And again, again and again...
It didn't take long for it to become a habit,
and he soon he found himself giving a "thumbs up" to
every woman he met.
It took him a long time to "undo" this habit.
So how do you avoid practicing the "wrong" things
and ruining your dating game as a result? Well, here are
some tips to help you stay on the right track while
you're practicing.
1) Avoid Mindless Repetition
Mindless repetition is not going to help you
any. You could ask a 100 women for their phone numbers...
but if you do it just for the sake of completing a certain
exercise, it's not going to help you at all. Rather, it
will probably reinforce your bad habits.
(Example: Don't be like the guy who gives women a "thumbs
up" every time. Avoid mindless repetition!)
2) See It As An Art Form
The best way to avoid mindless repetition is to
see dating as an art form. When you treat something as an
art form, you're going to pay more attention to the PROCESS
than the RESULTS. A classical pianist will often play
the same passage over and over to look for imperfection.
Have the same mindset when you're practicing your dating
skills. Learn to appreciate your good work, and at the
same time look for things that you can improve on.
(Example: Let go of your expectations and focus on
improving your skills.)
3) Learn From A Valid Source
Make sure you learn your techniques and strategies from
a valid dating coach - not from an Internet Marketer
who has paid someone on Elance $500 to write an ebook
on dating. Lots of "dating advice" websites have popped up
in the past year, and there's a lot of misinformation
out there. If a certain technique sounds spooky to you,
feel free to email me and ask for my opinion.
(Example: Don't use the stupid business card trick that
I've warned you about a few months ago. Be weary of sites
that look like a porn site and use pictures to arouse you,
etc. Email the site a few dating questions and see what
kind of answers you get. Most of the time, you won't
get an answer at all.)
4) Think About It
Spend as much time THINKING as you do practicing. Practicing
is useless you actually THINK about what you're doing!
(Example: Keep a journal and write down your experiences.)
5) Analyze And Find Solutions
Analyze your results and think about your current problems
and obstacles. Then find a solution to fix your problem.
(Example: If you find yourself Speaking too quickly in
front of a woman, then slow down instead of just repeatng
what you've been doing all along!)
6) Isolate One Thing
Practice one thing at a time instead of trying
everything at once. This way you will know PRECISELY what
it is that you're doing right or wrong. Isolate your
mistakes and learn from them, and in time you can only
improve your success.
(Example: Work on speaking clearly on the first day and on
speaking louder on the second day.)
7) Relate It To The Bigger Picture
Practicing is useless and boring unless you see how it
relates to the big picture. For example, when you practice
smiling at a woman, don't do it because Marius told you to.
Do it because you know it's a way to make women feel
comfortable around you.
(Example: Read the first few chapters of my "Smart Dating
Course" to get the basic concepts drilled into your head.
This way you will see how the techniques actually fit nicely
into our "Smart Dating Model".)
8) Imitate A Master
Look around you and find men that are REALLY good with
women. Imitate their actions and practice doing what
they would do if they were put in the same situation.
(Example: Go rent a Tom Cruise movie and practice
imitating his body language. Then when you go out on
a date, ask yourself, "What would Tom Cruise do?")
9) Don't Avoid Mistakes
You can't have good luck unless you have had bad luck
in the past, and you can't taste success until you
have made mistakes first. Until you feel what it is
like to do something wrong, you're not going to know
if you're doing something right.
(Example: Try to laugh about your mistakes to yourself
and see them as part of your learning experience. At
least you're conscious about your mistakes unlike most
guys. That makes a HUGE difference!)
10) Learn To Feel
Let yourself immerse into the experience every time. For
example...if you're a swimmer, you should know what it's
like to feel every stroke in the water. Or if you're a
musician, you should know what it's like to feel the
music.
Try to do the same thing with dating and with your social
life in general. When you've involved in a good
conversation, sink in the energy and FEEL what it's like
to be right. Or when things aren't going too well, then
FEEL the warning signs. In time, you will build up
your intuition and that is when you will REALLY become a
master at social dynamics.
10 ways to lose a girl fast
Here are ten ways to lose a girl fast:
1) Act needy. Call her a few times a day.
2) Let her lead and just follow her around on
a date or in a relationship.
3) Act shy and antisocial in front of her friends.
4) Tell her "I like you" too soon.
5) Be in a hurry to "settle down" into a routine
or to label yourself as her boyfriend.
6) Ask for commitment too soon.
7) Try to "connect" with her emotionally without
caring about sexual chemistry. Don't flirt or
tease her at all. Never act like a challenge.
8) Act overposessive and get jealous when she talks
to other guys.
9) Brag a lot when you see her.
10) Do not advance when you have the chance.
1) Act needy. Call her a few times a day.
2) Let her lead and just follow her around on
a date or in a relationship.
3) Act shy and antisocial in front of her friends.
4) Tell her "I like you" too soon.
5) Be in a hurry to "settle down" into a routine
or to label yourself as her boyfriend.
6) Ask for commitment too soon.
7) Try to "connect" with her emotionally without
caring about sexual chemistry. Don't flirt or
tease her at all. Never act like a challenge.
8) Act overposessive and get jealous when she talks
to other guys.
9) Brag a lot when you see her.
10) Do not advance when you have the chance.
This will insult many guys
I haven't written any political incorrect articles for
this newsletter lately...and my fingers are getting kind of
itchy...
That is about to change, as I am sure today's article
will offend many people. But hey...that's my job as a dating
coach, right?
Here's my insult of the day....
A lot of my readers have been "burned" by women and bad
relationships in the past...
But you know what? My personal belief is that if you
keep attracting the kind of women who take your money or dump
you as soon as they have finished using you, you have nobody
to blame but yourself.
I mean it. As much as you may think that "it's the
whore's fault" for ruining your life, it's really your own damn
fault.
Let me tell you a story about my friend Tim. Tim is
your typical cynical and cocky guy who thinks he's Mr. Little
Hardcore. His nickname on MSN is "I am God" and his profile
picture is a picture of him flipping the bird. He believes
that women are all cheaters and golddiggers and that other
than for sex, women are quite "useless". (In his own words.)
To be fair, Tim is the jerk who has no trouble attracting
women at all. But he does have one problem: Women keep cheating
on him or "screwing him over". It doesn't matter how attracted
they are to him initially. They ALL cheat on him or betray him
eventually. As a result, one of Tim's philosophies is that you
should never trust another person completely because people will
always screw you over for their own selfish gains in the end.
But you know what? If he's always acting cynical,
sarcastic, and like he is Mr. Little Hardcore, just what kind
of women can he expect to attract - except drama queens, total
bitches, and other deranged women who share his cynicism
and twisted sense of humou?
Here's my philosophy: You ALWAYS get what you ask for
in life.
- If you look for women who share your sarcasm or cynicism,
then you WILL get a cynic bitch who'll eventually depress the
shit out of you in the future.
- If you look for women who give you emotional roller
coaster rides because you have a knack for drama, you will end
up with a drama queen who'll drain all the energy out of you.
- If you look for quick sex, don't be surprised if your
girl cheats on you one day.
You get what you ask for - always. (Repeat this line
to yourself ten times!)
By now, you may be thinking, "But what about the few
"nice guys" that end up getting screwed over by golddiggers?
They're ALSO getting what they've asked for.
For example, a lot of "nice guys" look for a woman
who's be "in control" of the relationship because they are
too chicken to take the lead themselves. So can they really
be surprised when the woman get bored or take control of
their bank accounts as well?
Furthermore, most of my "millionaire readers" have tried
to flaunt their wealth in order to impress women. When you're
using your money to attract women, can you REALLY blame your
girlfriends when they turn out to be golddiggers? No!
Here's the lesson of the day: Your mind works like
a filter when it comes to meeting women. It picks out the
kind of women that YOU want and filter out the kind of women
that you don't want.
If you always act like Mr. Little Hardcore, what you're
doing is filtering out all the nice girls and only letting the
bitches into your life.
If you act like you're a rich man, you're filtering
out all the women that are not interested in your money and only
letting in the golddiggers.
Last time we talked about how you always end up
attracting the kind of women that you want into your life.
This time I'll continue my insult by saying that that
you also attract the kind of women you get by using the kind of
techniques that you're using right now.
Let's look at the examples again.
In the last article, we saw how:
1) Mr. Little Hardcore attracts cynical bitches to him
by acting like a cynical, arrogant, and cocky jerk.
2) Mr. Millionaire attracts golddiggers to him by flashing
his credit cards.
3) Mr. Player attracts cheaters to him by focusing only on
the sexual components of a relationship.
4) Mr. Nice Guy attracts bitches into his life by sucking
up to them.
Do you see the DIRECT CORRELATIONS between the "techniques"
these guys use and the women they end up getting?
You always get what you ask for...by the techniques you use!
(Repeat this to yourself ten times.)
This is exactly why I don't believe in "seduction".
A lot of times, one of my readers email me and ask,
"Marius...why don' you teach this" or "Marius, why don't
you teach that?"
The answer is because I want you make sure I only teach
techniques that can give you good LONG-TERM results.
I also try to BALANCE everything I teach you with solid
background knowledge and my PHILOSOPHY on relationships.
For example, my pull-back and challenge techniques can
raise a dying attraction dramatically and even attract an
ex-girlfriend back. But at the same time, I ALSO teach my readers
that was powerful as my techniques are, if you have to keep
using the same technique over and over in order to influence a
woman, maybe you shouldn't be dating her in the first place. (If
you don't agree with this, you need to learn more about my
dating philosophy and focus less on my techniques.)
This is what EXCATLY makes me special to you as a dating
coach. Other "dating or seduction" coaches focus on individual
techniques without caring for the long term effects. (As long as
they get your money. they are happy with the effects.) I, on
the other hand, try to give you the "full picture" so that you
can have a happy, satisfying love life.
Here's what I want you to do if you're a member of my
"Smart Dating Course". Re-read Chapter 1. It's the chapter most
guys skip because they want to get right down to the powerful
techniques discussed in the other chapters. But to me, chapter 1
is one of the most important chapters of the course because it
shows how the Sternberg triangle of love is ESSENTIAL to your
LONG-TERM success in dating.
But what if you don't have a copy of my "Smart Dating
Course"?
Shame on you - you need to get it soon! It's the
PERFECT companion to this free newsletter because it presents
the BIGGER picture and TONS of powerful techniques
this newsletter lately...and my fingers are getting kind of
itchy...
That is about to change, as I am sure today's article
will offend many people. But hey...that's my job as a dating
coach, right?
Here's my insult of the day....
A lot of my readers have been "burned" by women and bad
relationships in the past...
But you know what? My personal belief is that if you
keep attracting the kind of women who take your money or dump
you as soon as they have finished using you, you have nobody
to blame but yourself.
I mean it. As much as you may think that "it's the
whore's fault" for ruining your life, it's really your own damn
fault.
Let me tell you a story about my friend Tim. Tim is
your typical cynical and cocky guy who thinks he's Mr. Little
Hardcore. His nickname on MSN is "I am God" and his profile
picture is a picture of him flipping the bird. He believes
that women are all cheaters and golddiggers and that other
than for sex, women are quite "useless". (In his own words.)
To be fair, Tim is the jerk who has no trouble attracting
women at all. But he does have one problem: Women keep cheating
on him or "screwing him over". It doesn't matter how attracted
they are to him initially. They ALL cheat on him or betray him
eventually. As a result, one of Tim's philosophies is that you
should never trust another person completely because people will
always screw you over for their own selfish gains in the end.
But you know what? If he's always acting cynical,
sarcastic, and like he is Mr. Little Hardcore, just what kind
of women can he expect to attract - except drama queens, total
bitches, and other deranged women who share his cynicism
and twisted sense of humou?
Here's my philosophy: You ALWAYS get what you ask for
in life.
- If you look for women who share your sarcasm or cynicism,
then you WILL get a cynic bitch who'll eventually depress the
shit out of you in the future.
- If you look for women who give you emotional roller
coaster rides because you have a knack for drama, you will end
up with a drama queen who'll drain all the energy out of you.
- If you look for quick sex, don't be surprised if your
girl cheats on you one day.
You get what you ask for - always. (Repeat this line
to yourself ten times!)
By now, you may be thinking, "But what about the few
"nice guys" that end up getting screwed over by golddiggers?
They're ALSO getting what they've asked for.
For example, a lot of "nice guys" look for a woman
who's be "in control" of the relationship because they are
too chicken to take the lead themselves. So can they really
be surprised when the woman get bored or take control of
their bank accounts as well?
Furthermore, most of my "millionaire readers" have tried
to flaunt their wealth in order to impress women. When you're
using your money to attract women, can you REALLY blame your
girlfriends when they turn out to be golddiggers? No!
Here's the lesson of the day: Your mind works like
a filter when it comes to meeting women. It picks out the
kind of women that YOU want and filter out the kind of women
that you don't want.
If you always act like Mr. Little Hardcore, what you're
doing is filtering out all the nice girls and only letting the
bitches into your life.
If you act like you're a rich man, you're filtering
out all the women that are not interested in your money and only
letting in the golddiggers.
Last time we talked about how you always end up
attracting the kind of women that you want into your life.
This time I'll continue my insult by saying that that
you also attract the kind of women you get by using the kind of
techniques that you're using right now.
Let's look at the examples again.
In the last article, we saw how:
1) Mr. Little Hardcore attracts cynical bitches to him
by acting like a cynical, arrogant, and cocky jerk.
2) Mr. Millionaire attracts golddiggers to him by flashing
his credit cards.
3) Mr. Player attracts cheaters to him by focusing only on
the sexual components of a relationship.
4) Mr. Nice Guy attracts bitches into his life by sucking
up to them.
Do you see the DIRECT CORRELATIONS between the "techniques"
these guys use and the women they end up getting?
You always get what you ask for...by the techniques you use!
(Repeat this to yourself ten times.)
This is exactly why I don't believe in "seduction".
A lot of times, one of my readers email me and ask,
"Marius...why don' you teach this" or "Marius, why don't
you teach that?"
The answer is because I want you make sure I only teach
techniques that can give you good LONG-TERM results.
I also try to BALANCE everything I teach you with solid
background knowledge and my PHILOSOPHY on relationships.
For example, my pull-back and challenge techniques can
raise a dying attraction dramatically and even attract an
ex-girlfriend back. But at the same time, I ALSO teach my readers
that was powerful as my techniques are, if you have to keep
using the same technique over and over in order to influence a
woman, maybe you shouldn't be dating her in the first place. (If
you don't agree with this, you need to learn more about my
dating philosophy and focus less on my techniques.)
This is what EXCATLY makes me special to you as a dating
coach. Other "dating or seduction" coaches focus on individual
techniques without caring for the long term effects. (As long as
they get your money. they are happy with the effects.) I, on
the other hand, try to give you the "full picture" so that you
can have a happy, satisfying love life.
Here's what I want you to do if you're a member of my
"Smart Dating Course". Re-read Chapter 1. It's the chapter most
guys skip because they want to get right down to the powerful
techniques discussed in the other chapters. But to me, chapter 1
is one of the most important chapters of the course because it
shows how the Sternberg triangle of love is ESSENTIAL to your
LONG-TERM success in dating.
But what if you don't have a copy of my "Smart Dating
Course"?
Shame on you - you need to get it soon! It's the
PERFECT companion to this free newsletter because it presents
the BIGGER picture and TONS of powerful techniques
17 ways to flirt with a woman
Since I posted my last article on Christians and flirting,
I've received many emails from readers asking me how they can
flirt. Here's a repost of some techniques I sent out about
a year ago:
Flirting Technique: Eye-Contact
Most of flirting is done with your eyes. Keep good
eye-contact on a woman when you talk to her. Just keep
your eyes focused on her bit "too long."
Flirting Technique: Say "Hello" With Energy
When you approach a woman, say "Hello" in a flirty way.
It will make her think you e sexier than the average
geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy "Hi".
Flirting Technique: Shake Her Hand A Bit Too Long
When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers
for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as
you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into
her eyes sincerely. You don want to come off as a
pervert.
Flirting Technique: Repeat The Woman Name
As you talk to her, repeat her name as much as you can.
Say her name slow, softly and sensually each time you
say it.
Example: "Hello, De-bbie, I am very glad you came
here..."
Flirting Technique: Stir Your Drink
Stir your drink with a rhythm as you talk to her.
The effect can be "hypnotizing" under the right
atmosphere.
Flirting Technique: Lower Your Volume
Lower and lower your volume so she has to lean towards
you to listen.
Flirting Technique: Whisper
When she gets close enough, whisper to her. This works
well in a bar, when the music is so loud you have to
talk in each other ears.
Flirting Technique: Be Playful
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) How much fun can I have tonight?
2) What sorts of interesting things can I
find out about this girl?
Flirting Technique: Use Nicknames
When you get closer to a woman, make up a cute nickname
for her.
Flirting Technique: Touch Her Back
If she starts touching you, then touch her on the
shoulder or arm when you laugh. Increase the frequency of
touching as the night goes on.
Flirting Technique: Leave Her Wanting More
Do what strippers do the guys. Get a girl all hot and
then leave her wanting more!
Flirting Technique: Laugh At Her Jokes
Laugh at her jokes whenever she makes one. Touch her on
the arm lightly when you laugh if she already touching you.
Flirting Technique: Listen To Her Stories
Pay attention to what she says. Be focused on her, not
on the hot waitress.
Flirting Technique: Drop A Compliment
Drop her a compliment every once in awhile. Not too often
though!
Flirting Technique: Tease Her
Incorporate teasing into your flirting. Tease her till
she's wet!
Flirting Technique: Get More Personal
Ask her more and more personal questions as the evening
progresses. Things about her childhood, etc!
I've received many emails from readers asking me how they can
flirt. Here's a repost of some techniques I sent out about
a year ago:
Flirting Technique: Eye-Contact
Most of flirting is done with your eyes. Keep good
eye-contact on a woman when you talk to her. Just keep
your eyes focused on her bit "too long."
Flirting Technique: Say "Hello" With Energy
When you approach a woman, say "Hello" in a flirty way.
It will make her think you e sexier than the average
geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy "Hi".
Flirting Technique: Shake Her Hand A Bit Too Long
When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers
for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as
you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into
her eyes sincerely. You don want to come off as a
pervert.
Flirting Technique: Repeat The Woman Name
As you talk to her, repeat her name as much as you can.
Say her name slow, softly and sensually each time you
say it.
Example: "Hello, De-bbie, I am very glad you came
here..."
Flirting Technique: Stir Your Drink
Stir your drink with a rhythm as you talk to her.
The effect can be "hypnotizing" under the right
atmosphere.
Flirting Technique: Lower Your Volume
Lower and lower your volume so she has to lean towards
you to listen.
Flirting Technique: Whisper
When she gets close enough, whisper to her. This works
well in a bar, when the music is so loud you have to
talk in each other ears.
Flirting Technique: Be Playful
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) How much fun can I have tonight?
2) What sorts of interesting things can I
find out about this girl?
Flirting Technique: Use Nicknames
When you get closer to a woman, make up a cute nickname
for her.
Flirting Technique: Touch Her Back
If she starts touching you, then touch her on the
shoulder or arm when you laugh. Increase the frequency of
touching as the night goes on.
Flirting Technique: Leave Her Wanting More
Do what strippers do the guys. Get a girl all hot and
then leave her wanting more!
Flirting Technique: Laugh At Her Jokes
Laugh at her jokes whenever she makes one. Touch her on
the arm lightly when you laugh if she already touching you.
Flirting Technique: Listen To Her Stories
Pay attention to what she says. Be focused on her, not
on the hot waitress.
Flirting Technique: Drop A Compliment
Drop her a compliment every once in awhile. Not too often
though!
Flirting Technique: Tease Her
Incorporate teasing into your flirting. Tease her till
she's wet!
Flirting Technique: Get More Personal
Ask her more and more personal questions as the evening
progresses. Things about her childhood, etc!
Can christians flirt
A lot of my Christian Readers have emailed me to ask,
"Marius. What should I do if I am Christian? I am not sure if
flirting is appropriate for me because of my religious
background."
Here's what a Christian reader of mine has suggested
to me in the past. (Not exact quote...I am paraphrasing him...)
"See flirting as a way of giving attention to people.
Think of it as a way to share your warmth. See it as a way to
make other people feel good about themselves, not as a way
to get anything in return."
I agree with this reader. He has got it down TOTALLY.
Flirting is a way of GIVING, not a way of "taking" as most
people wrongly assume. Don't flirt to get into a woman's pants.
Flirt with her to MAKE HER FEEL GOOD about herself. Give her
pleasure by flirting with her and teasing her.
There is NOTHING selfish or immoral about making other
people feel good.
"Marius. What should I do if I am Christian? I am not sure if
flirting is appropriate for me because of my religious
background."
Here's what a Christian reader of mine has suggested
to me in the past. (Not exact quote...I am paraphrasing him...)
"See flirting as a way of giving attention to people.
Think of it as a way to share your warmth. See it as a way to
make other people feel good about themselves, not as a way
to get anything in return."
I agree with this reader. He has got it down TOTALLY.
Flirting is a way of GIVING, not a way of "taking" as most
people wrongly assume. Don't flirt to get into a woman's pants.
Flirt with her to MAKE HER FEEL GOOD about herself. Give her
pleasure by flirting with her and teasing her.
There is NOTHING selfish or immoral about making other
people feel good.
Quick way to improve your body language
Last time I asked you to learn more about social dynamics,
body language, and voice tone by observing other people in the
real world.
Today, we're going to focus on YOU.
Here's the assignment:
I want you to borrow a video camera from a friend and
film yourself at a party or social event. (Get a friend to film
you if you can...)
Play the tape back and watch your own body language.
See if you like what you see.
Chances are...you'll discover a LOT of things that you
never knew about yourself!
Next, take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down
all your weakest areas. (Round back, little eye contact, jittery
movements, too much arm movements, too fast, weak voice, etc)
Then work on and improve each area one by one. Film
yourself again and see if you see any improvements.
Keep doing this. I promise you will feel like a different
person in a few months.
body language, and voice tone by observing other people in the
real world.
Today, we're going to focus on YOU.
Here's the assignment:
I want you to borrow a video camera from a friend and
film yourself at a party or social event. (Get a friend to film
you if you can...)
Play the tape back and watch your own body language.
See if you like what you see.
Chances are...you'll discover a LOT of things that you
never knew about yourself!
Next, take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down
all your weakest areas. (Round back, little eye contact, jittery
movements, too much arm movements, too fast, weak voice, etc)
Then work on and improve each area one by one. Film
yourself again and see if you see any improvements.
Keep doing this. I promise you will feel like a different
person in a few months.
How to get out of the negative zone
I am often asked, "Marius, how can I get out of the
negative zone"?
In case you're not familiar with the "Smart Dating
System", the "negative zone" is a zone you're in after you've
been dumped or rejected by a woman. When you're in the negative
zone, everything you do will just annoy a woman and push her
further away.
So...how do you get out of the negative zone once
you're in it?
The answer is to WAIT.
Only time can get you out of the zone.
why? Because when you're in the negative zone, ALL of
your actions will only "annoy" the woman even more. It doesn't
matter if your intentions are good. No matter what you do, the
woman will STILL shun you because she will think it's another sign
of you showing affection for her.
And if you remember rule #1 of the "Smart Dating System",
it's not how much you like a woman, but how much a woman likes
you that matters.
So what should you be doing while you're waiting to get
out of the negative zone?
Personally, I think you should be moving on psychologically/
You should also be improving yourself.
Don't just stay at home while you're waiting to get out.
Go out and date other women. Practice your flirting skills.
Go to the gym. See your old buddies again. Party, party, party.
Take a couple of classes to improve yourself. And most important
of all, learn and practice your dating skills so that you don't
make the same mistakes next time.
negative zone"?
In case you're not familiar with the "Smart Dating
System", the "negative zone" is a zone you're in after you've
been dumped or rejected by a woman. When you're in the negative
zone, everything you do will just annoy a woman and push her
further away.
So...how do you get out of the negative zone once
you're in it?
The answer is to WAIT.
Only time can get you out of the zone.
why? Because when you're in the negative zone, ALL of
your actions will only "annoy" the woman even more. It doesn't
matter if your intentions are good. No matter what you do, the
woman will STILL shun you because she will think it's another sign
of you showing affection for her.
And if you remember rule #1 of the "Smart Dating System",
it's not how much you like a woman, but how much a woman likes
you that matters.
So what should you be doing while you're waiting to get
out of the negative zone?
Personally, I think you should be moving on psychologically/
You should also be improving yourself.
Don't just stay at home while you're waiting to get out.
Go out and date other women. Practice your flirting skills.
Go to the gym. See your old buddies again. Party, party, party.
Take a couple of classes to improve yourself. And most important
of all, learn and practice your dating skills so that you don't
make the same mistakes next time.
What to do if a woman ask you for favours
In the past two issues we have talked about how you
should act when a woman is depressed or when a woman is
asking you for advice. Today's article will be much
"lighter". Instead of talking about what to do when a woman
is upset or depressed, We're going to talk about what you
should do when a woman asks you for little innocent favours.
When a woman asks you for a small favour, I want you
to act like a challenge by bartering with her.
For example, when a woman asks you to hold her bag,
don't just take it from her like a little puppy. Make her say
"pretty please".
When a woman asks you for a pen, ask for a small peck
on your cheek.
should act when a woman is depressed or when a woman is
asking you for advice. Today's article will be much
"lighter". Instead of talking about what to do when a woman
is upset or depressed, We're going to talk about what you
should do when a woman asks you for little innocent favours.
When a woman asks you for a small favour, I want you
to act like a challenge by bartering with her.
For example, when a woman asks you to hold her bag,
don't just take it from her like a little puppy. Make her say
"pretty please".
When a woman asks you for a pen, ask for a small peck
on your cheek.
what if a woman ask you for advice
Last time I showed you why you should just LISTEN to a
woman and give her a shoulder to cry on when she's upset.
But what if a woman actually ASKS you for advice? What
should you do then?
Personally, the first thing I say when I give a woman
advice is always, "What do you want to do?"
This is for basic calibration purposes. By asking her
this question, I'll get a sense of what she is REALLY looking
for.
You see, a lot of times when a woman asks you for
advice, she has ALREADY made up her mind on what she would
"like" to do. She is really just asking you to CONFIRM a
decision she has already made. This is VERY important to
remember. (The same principle applies to guys as well.)
So by asking her what she would like to do,
you're giving her chance to "spill the beans" and tell you
what she thinks she should be doing. You can then offer
your viewpoint on her solution.
But of course...sometimes a woman will REALLY be
clueless and say, "I don't know."
In that case, I'll ask, "Well, what do you THINK
you should do?" Most of the time, she will spill whatever
she has on her mind. (The word "think" actually disconnects
the answer from a person. This is why she'll be more likely
to open up to you when you use the word "think".)
If she STILL does not know what she should do, then
I'll finally give her my advice by saying, "If I were you, I
would..."
This way, I am just telling her what I would do if
I were her - without imposing any of my judgement on her life
or situation.
This is a VERY important key when you're giving people
advice. YOU never want to give people direct advice because
a lot of times people will take it the wrong way and start
acting defensive.
woman and give her a shoulder to cry on when she's upset.
But what if a woman actually ASKS you for advice? What
should you do then?
Personally, the first thing I say when I give a woman
advice is always, "What do you want to do?"
This is for basic calibration purposes. By asking her
this question, I'll get a sense of what she is REALLY looking
for.
You see, a lot of times when a woman asks you for
advice, she has ALREADY made up her mind on what she would
"like" to do. She is really just asking you to CONFIRM a
decision she has already made. This is VERY important to
remember. (The same principle applies to guys as well.)
So by asking her what she would like to do,
you're giving her chance to "spill the beans" and tell you
what she thinks she should be doing. You can then offer
your viewpoint on her solution.
But of course...sometimes a woman will REALLY be
clueless and say, "I don't know."
In that case, I'll ask, "Well, what do you THINK
you should do?" Most of the time, she will spill whatever
she has on her mind. (The word "think" actually disconnects
the answer from a person. This is why she'll be more likely
to open up to you when you use the word "think".)
If she STILL does not know what she should do, then
I'll finally give her my advice by saying, "If I were you, I
would..."
This way, I am just telling her what I would do if
I were her - without imposing any of my judgement on her life
or situation.
This is a VERY important key when you're giving people
advice. YOU never want to give people direct advice because
a lot of times people will take it the wrong way and start
acting defensive.
How to act when a woman is upset
What should you do if a woman is depressed or upset?
Here's my advice for you:
Give her emotional support and a shoulder to cry on,
but do NOT attempt to give her ANY solution to her problems.
Why not?
Because women's heads are wired differently than ours.
As men, we want solutions to our problems right away. Women,
on the other hand, want emotional support. So when women tell
you their problems, they aren't REALLY looking for you to
give them your two cents. What they're really looking for
is emotional support.
Unfortunately most guys do not realize this, and that's
why they try to play the "advisor" or "counselor" whenever
their girlfriends tell them their problems. Instead of
LISTENING to their girlfriends, they try to chip in and offer
their "solutions" for the problems RIGHT AWAY. As a result,
both parties become frustrated. The women feel their boyfriends
are not listening to them, while the men complain to their
buddies that their "stupid" girlfriends are not listening or
being "logical". (Sounds familiar? I hear such cases ALL the
time!)
So what should you do if a woman comes to you when
she's upset? The first thing you should do is to LISTEN. Don't
be too eager to offer her your opinion or your "solution" yet.
Just LISTEN to her and give her a shoulder to cry on. Most of
the times, she just wants somebody to talk to.
If she starts acting like a bitch, then just keep
your silence and ignore her. Don't let her drag you into
her depressed state. Give her your emotional support - but draw
the line there. Getting inside her world will only makes things
even more complicated.
Here's my advice for you:
Give her emotional support and a shoulder to cry on,
but do NOT attempt to give her ANY solution to her problems.
Why not?
Because women's heads are wired differently than ours.
As men, we want solutions to our problems right away. Women,
on the other hand, want emotional support. So when women tell
you their problems, they aren't REALLY looking for you to
give them your two cents. What they're really looking for
is emotional support.
Unfortunately most guys do not realize this, and that's
why they try to play the "advisor" or "counselor" whenever
their girlfriends tell them their problems. Instead of
LISTENING to their girlfriends, they try to chip in and offer
their "solutions" for the problems RIGHT AWAY. As a result,
both parties become frustrated. The women feel their boyfriends
are not listening to them, while the men complain to their
buddies that their "stupid" girlfriends are not listening or
being "logical". (Sounds familiar? I hear such cases ALL the
time!)
So what should you do if a woman comes to you when
she's upset? The first thing you should do is to LISTEN. Don't
be too eager to offer her your opinion or your "solution" yet.
Just LISTEN to her and give her a shoulder to cry on. Most of
the times, she just wants somebody to talk to.
If she starts acting like a bitch, then just keep
your silence and ignore her. Don't let her drag you into
her depressed state. Give her your emotional support - but draw
the line there. Getting inside her world will only makes things
even more complicated.
Eliminate garbage words when talking to woman
In the past We've talked about eliminating "garbage
body language". Today we're going to talk about eliminating
"garbage words".
"Garbage words" are words that many guys use as "filler
words" in front of or after a sentence.
Some examples are...
- "To be honest..."
- "Honestly..."
- "Well..."
- "Hmm..."
- "So..."
- "...eh?"
- "...right?"
Here's a general rule: If a word or phrase does not
have anything to add to a sentence, cut it out!
Using "filler" words to fill the gaps in a conversation
won't make you get rid of the "dead air spots". It will only
make you sound weak and unsure - the last thing you want when
you're talking to a woman.
If you're not sure if you're using "garbage words" in
your communication right now, here's what I want you to
do:
Get a tape recorder and record yourself having
conversations with friends. Then play back the tape and
analyse how you talk.
body language". Today we're going to talk about eliminating
"garbage words".
"Garbage words" are words that many guys use as "filler
words" in front of or after a sentence.
Some examples are...
- "To be honest..."
- "Honestly..."
- "Well..."
- "Hmm..."
- "So..."
- "...eh?"
- "...right?"
Here's a general rule: If a word or phrase does not
have anything to add to a sentence, cut it out!
Using "filler" words to fill the gaps in a conversation
won't make you get rid of the "dead air spots". It will only
make you sound weak and unsure - the last thing you want when
you're talking to a woman.
If you're not sure if you're using "garbage words" in
your communication right now, here's what I want you to
do:
Get a tape recorder and record yourself having
conversations with friends. Then play back the tape and
analyse how you talk.
What if you are not sure how much she likes you
If you're not sure if a woman likes you...then I've got
some bad news for you...
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ADVANCING ENOUGH!
It means you haven't advanced enough when you had the
chance to...
Or even worse...
It means everything is inside your head.
According to my "Smart Dating Course", dating is like
passing a traffic light at an intersection.
When you come to an intersection with a traffic light,
there are only three lights you can get - a green light, a
red light, or a yellow light.
The green light means "go ahead". (She likes you.)
The red light means "no". (She's rejecting you.)
The yellow light means you're not sure.
But as a smart Dater, you DO NOT want to see a yellow
light. To a student of the Smart Dating System, seeing a
yellow light just means you haven't been advancing enough. It
means you should have kept driving through the light to the next
intersection until you see a red light or a green light.
Why? Because until you actually advance through the
yellow light, you will NEVER know if it's going to turn into
a red light or a green light at the next intersection.
Even getting a red light is better than getting a yellow
light, because then you can MOVE ON with your life. Staying
with a yellow light, on the other hand, will be a waste of
your time.
So how do you use this analogy in the real world?
First of all, ALWAYS, ALWAYS use the flirt-test as a
way to advance to the next light. Flirt and see if she
flirts back. If she does, you know it's a green light.
Secondly, you also want to keep moving in physically
and taking things to the next level. If you're holding her
hand, then stroke her hair. If you're stroking her hair, then
give her a kiss...and so on...
Because until you grow some balls and ADVANCED FORWARD,
you have no way of telling how much she likes you back.
These is just one of the many practical analogies from
my course on how to meet, attract, and date BEAUTIFUL
women.
some bad news for you...
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ADVANCING ENOUGH!
It means you haven't advanced enough when you had the
chance to...
Or even worse...
It means everything is inside your head.
According to my "Smart Dating Course", dating is like
passing a traffic light at an intersection.
When you come to an intersection with a traffic light,
there are only three lights you can get - a green light, a
red light, or a yellow light.
The green light means "go ahead". (She likes you.)
The red light means "no". (She's rejecting you.)
The yellow light means you're not sure.
But as a smart Dater, you DO NOT want to see a yellow
light. To a student of the Smart Dating System, seeing a
yellow light just means you haven't been advancing enough. It
means you should have kept driving through the light to the next
intersection until you see a red light or a green light.
Why? Because until you actually advance through the
yellow light, you will NEVER know if it's going to turn into
a red light or a green light at the next intersection.
Even getting a red light is better than getting a yellow
light, because then you can MOVE ON with your life. Staying
with a yellow light, on the other hand, will be a waste of
your time.
So how do you use this analogy in the real world?
First of all, ALWAYS, ALWAYS use the flirt-test as a
way to advance to the next light. Flirt and see if she
flirts back. If she does, you know it's a green light.
Secondly, you also want to keep moving in physically
and taking things to the next level. If you're holding her
hand, then stroke her hair. If you're stroking her hair, then
give her a kiss...and so on...
Because until you grow some balls and ADVANCED FORWARD,
you have no way of telling how much she likes you back.
These is just one of the many practical analogies from
my course on how to meet, attract, and date BEAUTIFUL
women.
How to get revenge on your EX
Here's my honest answer:
The BEST way to get your revenge on an ex-girlfriend or
on a woman who has used you in the past is to date someone who
is BETTER than her.
A lot of men fantasize about "seducing" an ex-girlfriend
back just for the purpose of dumping her for revenge. Some
readers have even asked me if it's possible to "hypnotize" their
ex-girlfriends "just long enough" for them to dump them.
I'm against this sort of negative thinking.
If you're unhappy with a woman, then just find someone
better than her. Taking direct revenge on a woman won't make
YOUR life any better. It won't have ANY positive effect on
your own love life.
It will probably just get you into another "mess" and
put you on another emotional roller coaster ride. (Seriously,
do you want another one of those?)
Listen. We only have a limited amount of time in this
world and we should ENJOY our lives while we're here.
So instead of plotting revenge and going through all
the negative emotions of the breakup again, go out and improve
your dating skills so you can find someone who's BETTER than
whoever you were dating or chasing.
Find an amazing woman who's 10 times better than your
ex-girlfriend and move on with your life.
THAT'S the best revenge!
The BEST way to get your revenge on an ex-girlfriend or
on a woman who has used you in the past is to date someone who
is BETTER than her.
A lot of men fantasize about "seducing" an ex-girlfriend
back just for the purpose of dumping her for revenge. Some
readers have even asked me if it's possible to "hypnotize" their
ex-girlfriends "just long enough" for them to dump them.
I'm against this sort of negative thinking.
If you're unhappy with a woman, then just find someone
better than her. Taking direct revenge on a woman won't make
YOUR life any better. It won't have ANY positive effect on
your own love life.
It will probably just get you into another "mess" and
put you on another emotional roller coaster ride. (Seriously,
do you want another one of those?)
Listen. We only have a limited amount of time in this
world and we should ENJOY our lives while we're here.
So instead of plotting revenge and going through all
the negative emotions of the breakup again, go out and improve
your dating skills so you can find someone who's BETTER than
whoever you were dating or chasing.
Find an amazing woman who's 10 times better than your
ex-girlfriend and move on with your life.
THAT'S the best revenge!
How to cure your fear of women
Do you have a fear of beautiful women? Do you freeze
up every time you're in the presence of a woman who's hot
and beautiful?
If so...then the following exercise is for you.
Here's what I want you to do:
1) Befriend 5 Women
Go out and befriend 5 hot women. Don't hit on them.
Don't flirt with them. Just befriend them.
Don't worry about falling into the friendship jail.
Just be a good friend of theirs and hang out with them as
often as you can - even if it means tagging along with them
when they go out to pickup guys.
Since you're just befriending them without hitting
on them, this should be easy even if you're a shy guy.
(And if you're so shy that you can't even befriend a woman
"as a friend", then you MUST do this exercise and overcome
your fear of women. If you can't even talk to a woman,
you're NOT going to get a girlfriend, buddy!)
2) Get Comfortable Around Them
Next, I want you to just get comfortable around
your new female friends. Learn to look at them in the
eyes. Learn to initiate innocent physical contact with them.
Talk to their other friends when you go out. You're part
of their groups now - so get comfortable with your new
social life.
3) Observe Their Love Lives
Observe the way they act in relationships. Sense
their own insecurity around guys they like. See through
their fragile fantasies. watch how they throw "tests" at
guys sub-consciously and how their attraction levels raise
or lowers as time goes by - and why.
4) Talk To Their Boyfriends
Work your charm on their boyfriends as well. Stroke
their ego's and be buddy-buddy with them. At the same time,
learn from them by observing how they've managed to attract
their hottie girlfriends.
5) Watch How They Pick Up Guys
If one of your new friends is single, then go out
with her to a club and how she picks up guys or deals
with guys that try to pick her up.
6) Get Them To Give You a Makeover
Get your new female friends to give you a makeover.
Let them show you what hair style or clothes look the best
on you.
7) Hook Up with Their Friends
Get them to introduce you to their friends. Chances
are, their friends are going to be as good-looking as they
are.
8) Use Them to Build Social Proof
Be seen with your new hot friends at clubs and
events. "social proof" and envy are powerful psychological
factors. Believe me or not, women will find you more
attractive when they see you hanging out with other hot
women.
9) Improve Your Own Self Image
up every time you're in the presence of a woman who's hot
and beautiful?
If so...then the following exercise is for you.
Here's what I want you to do:
1) Befriend 5 Women
Go out and befriend 5 hot women. Don't hit on them.
Don't flirt with them. Just befriend them.
Don't worry about falling into the friendship jail.
Just be a good friend of theirs and hang out with them as
often as you can - even if it means tagging along with them
when they go out to pickup guys.
Since you're just befriending them without hitting
on them, this should be easy even if you're a shy guy.
(And if you're so shy that you can't even befriend a woman
"as a friend", then you MUST do this exercise and overcome
your fear of women. If you can't even talk to a woman,
you're NOT going to get a girlfriend, buddy!)
2) Get Comfortable Around Them
Next, I want you to just get comfortable around
your new female friends. Learn to look at them in the
eyes. Learn to initiate innocent physical contact with them.
Talk to their other friends when you go out. You're part
of their groups now - so get comfortable with your new
social life.
3) Observe Their Love Lives
Observe the way they act in relationships. Sense
their own insecurity around guys they like. See through
their fragile fantasies. watch how they throw "tests" at
guys sub-consciously and how their attraction levels raise
or lowers as time goes by - and why.
4) Talk To Their Boyfriends
Work your charm on their boyfriends as well. Stroke
their ego's and be buddy-buddy with them. At the same time,
learn from them by observing how they've managed to attract
their hottie girlfriends.
5) Watch How They Pick Up Guys
If one of your new friends is single, then go out
with her to a club and how she picks up guys or deals
with guys that try to pick her up.
6) Get Them To Give You a Makeover
Get your new female friends to give you a makeover.
Let them show you what hair style or clothes look the best
on you.
7) Hook Up with Their Friends
Get them to introduce you to their friends. Chances
are, their friends are going to be as good-looking as they
are.
8) Use Them to Build Social Proof
Be seen with your new hot friends at clubs and
events. "social proof" and envy are powerful psychological
factors. Believe me or not, women will find you more
attractive when they see you hanging out with other hot
women.
9) Improve Your Own Self Image
25 signs a woman likes you
Here are 25 signs a woman likes you...
1) She asks people lots of questions about you.
2) She flirts with you, and you only.
3) She talks about you a lot in front of other people.
4) She talks to you about things she has heard from friends.
5) She keeps asking about your love life.
6) She teases you a lot.
7) She blushes in red when she sees you.
8) She tenses up when you touch her but does not attempt to move away
at all.
9) She doesn't look away when you check her out.
10) She constantly adjusts or smoothes your clothing's.
11) She starts a conversation with you, when you don't know her.
12) She gives you all her contact information when you just ask for her
number or email.
13) She gets jealous when you flirt with other women.
14) She dresses up when sees you.
15) She laughs at all your jokes.
16) She thrusts her breasts out while talking to you.
17) She wants to spend time with you.
18) She's very "obedient".
19) She acts excessively offended when you tease her and tries to get
you to "make it up".
20) She TALKS about getting angry at you, but never does.
21) She invites you over at night.
22) She calls you or talks to you for no reason.
23) She asks you out to an event with her.
24) She comments how great you smell.
25) She plays with your hair.
1) She asks people lots of questions about you.
2) She flirts with you, and you only.
3) She talks about you a lot in front of other people.
4) She talks to you about things she has heard from friends.
5) She keeps asking about your love life.
6) She teases you a lot.
7) She blushes in red when she sees you.
8) She tenses up when you touch her but does not attempt to move away
at all.
9) She doesn't look away when you check her out.
10) She constantly adjusts or smoothes your clothing's.
11) She starts a conversation with you, when you don't know her.
12) She gives you all her contact information when you just ask for her
number or email.
13) She gets jealous when you flirt with other women.
14) She dresses up when sees you.
15) She laughs at all your jokes.
16) She thrusts her breasts out while talking to you.
17) She wants to spend time with you.
18) She's very "obedient".
19) She acts excessively offended when you tease her and tries to get
you to "make it up".
20) She TALKS about getting angry at you, but never does.
21) She invites you over at night.
22) She calls you or talks to you for no reason.
23) She asks you out to an event with her.
24) She comments how great you smell.
25) She plays with your hair.
Common traits every player shares
Over the past few years, I have noticed a COMMON trait
among EVERY man who is successful with women.
Of all the "players" I have met and interviewed, they
are almost always very sociable people.
And I don't mean they are just sociable with women.
They are sociable with EVERYONE they come across. No matter
how "alpha" they are, they are NATURAL LEADERS that are
CHARMISTIC and SOCIABLE. They can strike up a conversation with
you in 10 seconds, no matter you're a hot model or just another
guy sitting at the bar.
So...before you dream of becoming the kind of guy
every woman wants, I want you to take a look in the mirror
and ask yourself the following question:
"How sociable am I?"
1) How often do you meet new friends?
2) How often do you talk to strangers?
3) How often do you raise your opinion at work or
at school?
4) How easy is it for you to carry on a conversation
with a stranger? Not with a hot woman - but with ANY
stranger?
As I always say, your love life is merely a REFLECTION
of your life in general. So if you aren't very sociable with
women, chances are, you're just not very sociable IN GENERAL.
I know these words sound harsh - but as you know, I
always try to show reality in my newsletters, and reality
always hurts.
Here's my suggestion:
Before you pursue your dreams of becoming a player
every woman wants, perhaps you should take a step back and
think about how you can become a more SOCIABLE person in
general. Not just with women, but with EVERYBODY you meet.
Here are some practical tips on how you can become
a sociable person RIGHT NOW:
1) Go out with your friends more often.
2) Invite your friends to do things with you.
3) Hang out with the "groups" at your workplace
or school.
4) Laugh at people's joke and make them feel
comfortable around you.
5) Be naturally interested in other people.
6) Say "thank you" when others compliment you.
7) Don't be "too modest" when people center
turn their attention on you. Thank them (see
rule number 6) and compliment them back.
8) Go out AT LEAST twice with your friends every
week.
Now...go out and make some friends!
among EVERY man who is successful with women.
Of all the "players" I have met and interviewed, they
are almost always very sociable people.
And I don't mean they are just sociable with women.
They are sociable with EVERYONE they come across. No matter
how "alpha" they are, they are NATURAL LEADERS that are
CHARMISTIC and SOCIABLE. They can strike up a conversation with
you in 10 seconds, no matter you're a hot model or just another
guy sitting at the bar.
So...before you dream of becoming the kind of guy
every woman wants, I want you to take a look in the mirror
and ask yourself the following question:
"How sociable am I?"
1) How often do you meet new friends?
2) How often do you talk to strangers?
3) How often do you raise your opinion at work or
at school?
4) How easy is it for you to carry on a conversation
with a stranger? Not with a hot woman - but with ANY
stranger?
As I always say, your love life is merely a REFLECTION
of your life in general. So if you aren't very sociable with
women, chances are, you're just not very sociable IN GENERAL.
I know these words sound harsh - but as you know, I
always try to show reality in my newsletters, and reality
always hurts.
Here's my suggestion:
Before you pursue your dreams of becoming a player
every woman wants, perhaps you should take a step back and
think about how you can become a more SOCIABLE person in
general. Not just with women, but with EVERYBODY you meet.
Here are some practical tips on how you can become
a sociable person RIGHT NOW:
1) Go out with your friends more often.
2) Invite your friends to do things with you.
3) Hang out with the "groups" at your workplace
or school.
4) Laugh at people's joke and make them feel
comfortable around you.
5) Be naturally interested in other people.
6) Say "thank you" when others compliment you.
7) Don't be "too modest" when people center
turn their attention on you. Thank them (see
rule number 6) and compliment them back.
8) Go out AT LEAST twice with your friends every
week.
Now...go out and make some friends!
Having trouble approaching women
If you find yourself having trouble approaching women,
what I am about to say will definitely surprise you:
Approaching women isn't the hardest part of the dating
game. CLOSING with a woman is.
It's true. Most guys just talk and talk to a woman...
without ever asking for her number or closing for a date.
If you're one of these guys, then I can REALLY feel
your pain.
Why? Because just like you always have trouble closing
for a woman's number at the end of a conversation, I always
have trouble closing for a "sale" at the end of each article
I write.
Believe me. It's EXTREMELY hard for me to write that
little "tag" at the end of my emails. I can write pages and
pages on how to date woman, but when it comes to the end of
each article and I come to the part where I have to ask you to
download my course, I always freeze.
Now...the funny thing is...from what I've heard from
my students, in spite of what I think, I am actually pretty
good at convincing people to download my course. (Probably
because it kicks ass and can seriously improve your success
rate with women.)
This just demonstrates how what you FEEL in your
mind may be different than REALITY. Even though I feel I
suck at "closing" at the end of my articles, REALITY shows
otherwise.
Your situation with "closing for numbers" or for
dates may be very similar. It is possible that you're
better than you think. If you just force yourself to push
those words out, the results may just surprise you.
Let me tell you a short story.
During the first 2 and a half years I worked as a
dating coach, I was too afraid to refer people to my website.
I didn't even include a link that leads to my website until
a professional salesman emailed me and told me what I was
doing wrong. (This just shows how a master salesman can
be bad at closing for dates and a dating coach can be
bad at closing for sales!) At his suggestion, I spent
several thousand of dollars (which was a REALLY big
stretch for me at the time) over the next few years on
sales courses and books on how to become a "master
closer".
Today, I still don't feel one hundred percent
comfortable "closing" for my newsletter articles. But at
least I know I am "getting there". All that hard work
has finally paid off.
what I am about to say will definitely surprise you:
Approaching women isn't the hardest part of the dating
game. CLOSING with a woman is.
It's true. Most guys just talk and talk to a woman...
without ever asking for her number or closing for a date.
If you're one of these guys, then I can REALLY feel
your pain.
Why? Because just like you always have trouble closing
for a woman's number at the end of a conversation, I always
have trouble closing for a "sale" at the end of each article
I write.
Believe me. It's EXTREMELY hard for me to write that
little "tag" at the end of my emails. I can write pages and
pages on how to date woman, but when it comes to the end of
each article and I come to the part where I have to ask you to
download my course, I always freeze.
Now...the funny thing is...from what I've heard from
my students, in spite of what I think, I am actually pretty
good at convincing people to download my course. (Probably
because it kicks ass and can seriously improve your success
rate with women.)
This just demonstrates how what you FEEL in your
mind may be different than REALITY. Even though I feel I
suck at "closing" at the end of my articles, REALITY shows
otherwise.
Your situation with "closing for numbers" or for
dates may be very similar. It is possible that you're
better than you think. If you just force yourself to push
those words out, the results may just surprise you.
Let me tell you a short story.
During the first 2 and a half years I worked as a
dating coach, I was too afraid to refer people to my website.
I didn't even include a link that leads to my website until
a professional salesman emailed me and told me what I was
doing wrong. (This just shows how a master salesman can
be bad at closing for dates and a dating coach can be
bad at closing for sales!) At his suggestion, I spent
several thousand of dollars (which was a REALLY big
stretch for me at the time) over the next few years on
sales courses and books on how to become a "master
closer".
Today, I still don't feel one hundred percent
comfortable "closing" for my newsletter articles. But at
least I know I am "getting there". All that hard work
has finally paid off.
What if your girl cheats on you
There are two reasons why a woman would cheat on you.
The first one is her low attraction for you. The more a woman
is attracted to you, the nicer she will be to you. When a woman
is very, very, attracted to you, she will do everything she can
to please you. On the other hand, the less a woman is attracted
to you, the more likely she will do naughty things such as fooling
around with other guys behind your back.
The second reason a woman would cheat on you is that she
is disloyal. Some women are more loyal than others, and that's
why you need to make sure a woman is loyal before you commit to
her. Think of it this way: there is a "tolerance level" in every
woman's system. Every woman can only take a certain amount of
temptation before she cheats on a man. Your job is to find a
woman with a high tolerance level and keep the attraction high
so that the temptation is low.
But what if a woman cheats?
"Once a cheater, always a cheater? is my belief.
I can't tell you whether you should break up with her
or not. That's a decision that YOU'll have to make. The more
control you want to have over your own life, the more
RESPONSIBILITIES you have to take - including standing up for
yourself and figuring what YOU want.
All I can tell you is that if you choose to stay,
you're probably going to be in for a rough life. In my
experience, a lot of women that have cheated the first time will
also cheat for a second or third time. If you're softhearted and
want to forgive your girlfriend or wife once, then make sure you
follow the "two strikes and you're out rule". After all, if a
woman cheats on you a SECOND time, it means you've already made
a mistake the first time. Don't make the same mistake again!
To learn how you raise the sexual chemistry so that
your girlfriend will be less likely to cheat on you, check
out my Smart Dating Course.
I'll give you an incredibly DETAILED explanation of
how and why women feel ATTRACTION for men, and how you can
use this information to go after the woman you REALLY want.
The first one is her low attraction for you. The more a woman
is attracted to you, the nicer she will be to you. When a woman
is very, very, attracted to you, she will do everything she can
to please you. On the other hand, the less a woman is attracted
to you, the more likely she will do naughty things such as fooling
around with other guys behind your back.
The second reason a woman would cheat on you is that she
is disloyal. Some women are more loyal than others, and that's
why you need to make sure a woman is loyal before you commit to
her. Think of it this way: there is a "tolerance level" in every
woman's system. Every woman can only take a certain amount of
temptation before she cheats on a man. Your job is to find a
woman with a high tolerance level and keep the attraction high
so that the temptation is low.
But what if a woman cheats?
"Once a cheater, always a cheater? is my belief.
I can't tell you whether you should break up with her
or not. That's a decision that YOU'll have to make. The more
control you want to have over your own life, the more
RESPONSIBILITIES you have to take - including standing up for
yourself and figuring what YOU want.
All I can tell you is that if you choose to stay,
you're probably going to be in for a rough life. In my
experience, a lot of women that have cheated the first time will
also cheat for a second or third time. If you're softhearted and
want to forgive your girlfriend or wife once, then make sure you
follow the "two strikes and you're out rule". After all, if a
woman cheats on you a SECOND time, it means you've already made
a mistake the first time. Don't make the same mistake again!
To learn how you raise the sexual chemistry so that
your girlfriend will be less likely to cheat on you, check
out my Smart Dating Course.
I'll give you an incredibly DETAILED explanation of
how and why women feel ATTRACTION for men, and how you can
use this information to go after the woman you REALLY want.
How to tell if you are in the negative zone
Here're some signs that you're in the negative
zone in a woman's mind:
1) She avoids talking to you in person.
2) She never answers your emails, phone calls, or
messages.
3) She has rejected you within the past 3 months.
4) She has dumped you within the past 3 months.
5) She calls you "annoying" - and she means it.
6) She seems to be afraid of you.
7) She asks friends to brush you off.
8) She doesn't look like she wants to talk to you
at all.
9) She has told you to "give up" on her.
10) She gives you an excuse every time you ask
her out.
When you're in the negative zone, the only thing
you can do is wait. Time is the only thing that can pull
you out of the negative zone - because when you're in a
woman's negative zone, ANYTHING you do will only be seen as
"annoying" to her. (This is why I always stress you should
avoid getting into her negative zone in the first place
zone in a woman's mind:
1) She avoids talking to you in person.
2) She never answers your emails, phone calls, or
messages.
3) She has rejected you within the past 3 months.
4) She has dumped you within the past 3 months.
5) She calls you "annoying" - and she means it.
6) She seems to be afraid of you.
7) She asks friends to brush you off.
8) She doesn't look like she wants to talk to you
at all.
9) She has told you to "give up" on her.
10) She gives you an excuse every time you ask
her out.
When you're in the negative zone, the only thing
you can do is wait. Time is the only thing that can pull
you out of the negative zone - because when you're in a
woman's negative zone, ANYTHING you do will only be seen as
"annoying" to her. (This is why I always stress you should
avoid getting into her negative zone in the first place
How to undo damage you ve done with a woman
I am often asked, "How can I undo the damage I have
already done to a relationship, such as not acting enough of
a challenge to a woman or getting into a big argument with
her?"
Unfortunately, this is no magic fix. You can't just
go back in time and "fix" any damage that has already been
done.
Let me show you what I mean...
Whatever situation you're in right now, you're only
in it because of your past actions. For example, if your
girlfriend finds you too needy and wants some "personal
space" right now, it's because you were too needy IN THE
PAST. And since you can't go back in time and live your
life again, there's nothing you can do right now that can
"reverse the damage".
However, never forget that your future will one
day become your present, and when that happens, your present
will become your past. What this means is that whatever you
do NOW will affect your future. So while you can't go back
in time and "reverse" the damage you've already done, you
can take action now to make things better for the FUTURE.
For example, if you have always been needy in the
past, you can't just call a girl and "promise" her you will
give her lots of personal space from now on. You can,
however, ACT independent from this moment on, and if you're
lucky, in a few months she may stop seeing you as a needy
person.
Here's another example...
If you've just got into a big fight with a woman,
instead of doing further damage by proving to her that
you're right, you can just let the issue cool down and
work on ATTRACTING her.
Here's the bottom line: If you just keep fighting,
her attraction for you will keep dropping. But if you stop
fighting and start attracting again, in a few months she
may be so attracted to you again that she'll forget about
the fight completely.
In short, always look towards the future and never
dwell on the past. what done is done. You can't change your
past. Focus on shaping your future instead!
Lastly, don't forget that it is much logical to
PREVENT making dating mistakes than to REGRET making them
later on. Too many guys come to me for help only AFTER they
have done a great deal of damage to their relationships or
to their love lives.
Solution? Play the love cop. Look at your love life
and relationship objectively. Try to see if you're "missing"
anything or making any costly mistakes. Never get cocky and
stop improving your love life.
As I always tell my students, what you can't see will
eventually kill you. Just like a car, we each have blind spots
in our love lives. For example, you could be doing things
that are driving women away RIGHT NOW without even knowing it.
Your job as a Smart Dater is to identify each of your blind
spots and overcome them one by one. We ALL have areas that
we need to work on more - even me.
already done to a relationship, such as not acting enough of
a challenge to a woman or getting into a big argument with
her?"
Unfortunately, this is no magic fix. You can't just
go back in time and "fix" any damage that has already been
done.
Let me show you what I mean...
Whatever situation you're in right now, you're only
in it because of your past actions. For example, if your
girlfriend finds you too needy and wants some "personal
space" right now, it's because you were too needy IN THE
PAST. And since you can't go back in time and live your
life again, there's nothing you can do right now that can
"reverse the damage".
However, never forget that your future will one
day become your present, and when that happens, your present
will become your past. What this means is that whatever you
do NOW will affect your future. So while you can't go back
in time and "reverse" the damage you've already done, you
can take action now to make things better for the FUTURE.
For example, if you have always been needy in the
past, you can't just call a girl and "promise" her you will
give her lots of personal space from now on. You can,
however, ACT independent from this moment on, and if you're
lucky, in a few months she may stop seeing you as a needy
person.
Here's another example...
If you've just got into a big fight with a woman,
instead of doing further damage by proving to her that
you're right, you can just let the issue cool down and
work on ATTRACTING her.
Here's the bottom line: If you just keep fighting,
her attraction for you will keep dropping. But if you stop
fighting and start attracting again, in a few months she
may be so attracted to you again that she'll forget about
the fight completely.
In short, always look towards the future and never
dwell on the past. what done is done. You can't change your
past. Focus on shaping your future instead!
Lastly, don't forget that it is much logical to
PREVENT making dating mistakes than to REGRET making them
later on. Too many guys come to me for help only AFTER they
have done a great deal of damage to their relationships or
to their love lives.
Solution? Play the love cop. Look at your love life
and relationship objectively. Try to see if you're "missing"
anything or making any costly mistakes. Never get cocky and
stop improving your love life.
As I always tell my students, what you can't see will
eventually kill you. Just like a car, we each have blind spots
in our love lives. For example, you could be doing things
that are driving women away RIGHT NOW without even knowing it.
Your job as a Smart Dater is to identify each of your blind
spots and overcome them one by one. We ALL have areas that
we need to work on more - even me.
How to use jelousy to get a girl
Here are a few ideas on how to use a woman's jealousy
to help you attract her.
1) If a woman refuses to see you as anything more
than a "friend", flirt with and date other girls in front of
her and make sure she finds out about all the juicy details.
Tease her about how much you enjoy just being friends with her.
Next, give her a lot of attention and compliments for a few
weeks before you SUDDENLY pull back and stop hanging out with
her. When she calls, just let her know you're busy because you
have to see your other girl friends. If she is attracted to you,
she will freak out and try to get you back.
2) Always be seen with women when you're out at clubs
or parties. Bring a friend or two along - even if they are just
your cousins. Or hit on some less attractive women and have them
follow you around the club. This is a very powerful way to get
attention from the "10's".
3) Whenever a woman asks, "Are you single?", never
say "yes". Tell her that while you do not have a serious
girlfriend right now, you do have a couple of "prospects.
to help you attract her.
1) If a woman refuses to see you as anything more
than a "friend", flirt with and date other girls in front of
her and make sure she finds out about all the juicy details.
Tease her about how much you enjoy just being friends with her.
Next, give her a lot of attention and compliments for a few
weeks before you SUDDENLY pull back and stop hanging out with
her. When she calls, just let her know you're busy because you
have to see your other girl friends. If she is attracted to you,
she will freak out and try to get you back.
2) Always be seen with women when you're out at clubs
or parties. Bring a friend or two along - even if they are just
your cousins. Or hit on some less attractive women and have them
follow you around the club. This is a very powerful way to get
attention from the "10's".
3) Whenever a woman asks, "Are you single?", never
say "yes". Tell her that while you do not have a serious
girlfriend right now, you do have a couple of "prospects.
What if she does nt call back
am often asked, "What should I do if a woman doesn't
call back or answer my message?"
Move on.
Yes, I know these words sound harsh, but if a woman
isn't answering your calls, that's a sign of low attraction
right there. Pestering her will only push you further into
the negative zone.
If you want to be persistent, then you can try
flirting with her more IN PERSON to increase the attraction
before you call again. This is your ONLY option because
if a woman isn't even answering the phone, NOTHING you say
is going to change her mind. No matter how "cute" your
messages are, she's not going to call you back.
Just stop calling her and work on other women
for now!
call back or answer my message?"
Move on.
Yes, I know these words sound harsh, but if a woman
isn't answering your calls, that's a sign of low attraction
right there. Pestering her will only push you further into
the negative zone.
If you want to be persistent, then you can try
flirting with her more IN PERSON to increase the attraction
before you call again. This is your ONLY option because
if a woman isn't even answering the phone, NOTHING you say
is going to change her mind. No matter how "cute" your
messages are, she's not going to call you back.
Just stop calling her and work on other women
for now!
Romance breathing Magic
Today's tip is going to be VERY short. But it's also
going to be VERY fun to do.
Next time you're making out or cuddling with a woman,
I want you to SHUT UP. Stop talking. Don't say anything.
Use your breathing to communicate with her instead.
As you make out or cuddle with her, vary the rhythm
of your breathing to show your different levels of excitement.
Breathe slowly as you caress her body softly.
Breathe lightly into your ears as you cuddle with her
and smell her neck.
When she begins to "loosen up" and really makes out
with you, deepen your breath and breathe faster. Use your
heavy breathing to show her how aroused you are.
Finally, when you're finished, let her rest her hand
or head on your arm or chest as your breathing slowly returns
to normal. To a woman, that effect can be quite tranquilizing.
going to be VERY fun to do.
Next time you're making out or cuddling with a woman,
I want you to SHUT UP. Stop talking. Don't say anything.
Use your breathing to communicate with her instead.
As you make out or cuddle with her, vary the rhythm
of your breathing to show your different levels of excitement.
Breathe slowly as you caress her body softly.
Breathe lightly into your ears as you cuddle with her
and smell her neck.
When she begins to "loosen up" and really makes out
with you, deepen your breath and breathe faster. Use your
heavy breathing to show her how aroused you are.
Finally, when you're finished, let her rest her hand
or head on your arm or chest as your breathing slowly returns
to normal. To a woman, that effect can be quite tranquilizing.
Dating realities
A couple of you have asked me to elaborate on the
"reality" concept that I talked about in my last email, so
that's what I'm going to talk about today.
I firmly believe that there are HUGE differences
between our beliefs and what REALITY really shows.
I am not just talking about the differences between our
"ideal world" and "reality". (Example: In the ideal world,
everybody will eventually see what a wonderful guy you are. In
the real world, nobody really cares.) I am talking about how our
PERSONAL BELIEFS and OPINIONS may NOT actually reflect reality.
When I started getting into this dating game, I
interviewed a lot of female friends and asked them what they
want.
Oh boy. What a mistake.
The typical answers were answers such as...
"Somebody nice."
"Somebody funny."
"A guy who is not a pig."
"A guy who will be good to me."
So there I was, a guy who was trying to be "nice",
"funny", "not a pig", and "good to women."
And guess what? I was every girl's best friend, but
not their boyfriend.
It took me a good year to figure out that there is
a HUGE difference between what women SAY they want and what
they REALLY want.
Just because a woman "thinks" she prefers dark-haired,
well-built man doesn't mean she won't respond to a
blond-haired man with a KILLER PERSONALITY.
Just because a woman "says" she'd never kiss a guy
on a first date doesn't mean she won't ever do it.
Just because a woman "says" she wants a nice, funny
guy who's "not a pig" doesn't mean she will start dating
her best friend.
Interesting concept, eh? Well, guess what? It works
the "other way" too.
When you think, "Women are only attracted to jerks
and that's why I never get laid", it may not reflect
reality. (And it doesn't - but that will have to be a topic
in another email.)
When you think, "I will never get laid because I
am ugly", you're stopping yourself from success because
you're neglecting the fact that women also care about
your dating skills and personality. (In the real world,
women care about the CUMULATIVE SCORE, as I explained in
my last email.)
When you think, "My best friend gets laid a lot
because he is an athlete," it doesn't really help you
because the REALITY may be that your best friend is really
just a VERY GOOD FLIRT.
In short, your own opinion of what "should" or
"shouldn't" work could SEVERELY mess up your love life.
This is what I mean when I say I have based my
Smart Dating Course on "reality" instead of on opinions
and theory. Instead of thinking, "Hmm. I think women
prefer jerks because that's what everybody says," I
went out and OBSERVED people. I OBSERVED how the best
"players" in the fields got women, and I tried to
duplicate their success by imitating what they were
doing - until I knew enough to compile everything into
my own "model" which eventually became the Smart Dating
system.
It took me a few years of time to finally
"get it", and to have total confidence that I could
go out and meet women, anywhere, anytime. But if I hadn't
started observing REALITY instead of relying on my own
opinions and old beliefs, I would probably still be a
"shy" guy today.
I am not kidding. Take a look around you and look
at how many men there are out there that are in their 30's
or 40's and are still very unsuccessful with women. These
guys never "got it". I am glad I did. And you should be
glad you're going to get it too.
"reality" concept that I talked about in my last email, so
that's what I'm going to talk about today.
I firmly believe that there are HUGE differences
between our beliefs and what REALITY really shows.
I am not just talking about the differences between our
"ideal world" and "reality". (Example: In the ideal world,
everybody will eventually see what a wonderful guy you are. In
the real world, nobody really cares.) I am talking about how our
PERSONAL BELIEFS and OPINIONS may NOT actually reflect reality.
When I started getting into this dating game, I
interviewed a lot of female friends and asked them what they
want.
Oh boy. What a mistake.
The typical answers were answers such as...
"Somebody nice."
"Somebody funny."
"A guy who is not a pig."
"A guy who will be good to me."
So there I was, a guy who was trying to be "nice",
"funny", "not a pig", and "good to women."
And guess what? I was every girl's best friend, but
not their boyfriend.
It took me a good year to figure out that there is
a HUGE difference between what women SAY they want and what
they REALLY want.
Just because a woman "thinks" she prefers dark-haired,
well-built man doesn't mean she won't respond to a
blond-haired man with a KILLER PERSONALITY.
Just because a woman "says" she'd never kiss a guy
on a first date doesn't mean she won't ever do it.
Just because a woman "says" she wants a nice, funny
guy who's "not a pig" doesn't mean she will start dating
her best friend.
Interesting concept, eh? Well, guess what? It works
the "other way" too.
When you think, "Women are only attracted to jerks
and that's why I never get laid", it may not reflect
reality. (And it doesn't - but that will have to be a topic
in another email.)
When you think, "I will never get laid because I
am ugly", you're stopping yourself from success because
you're neglecting the fact that women also care about
your dating skills and personality. (In the real world,
women care about the CUMULATIVE SCORE, as I explained in
my last email.)
When you think, "My best friend gets laid a lot
because he is an athlete," it doesn't really help you
because the REALITY may be that your best friend is really
just a VERY GOOD FLIRT.
In short, your own opinion of what "should" or
"shouldn't" work could SEVERELY mess up your love life.
This is what I mean when I say I have based my
Smart Dating Course on "reality" instead of on opinions
and theory. Instead of thinking, "Hmm. I think women
prefer jerks because that's what everybody says," I
went out and OBSERVED people. I OBSERVED how the best
"players" in the fields got women, and I tried to
duplicate their success by imitating what they were
doing - until I knew enough to compile everything into
my own "model" which eventually became the Smart Dating
system.
It took me a few years of time to finally
"get it", and to have total confidence that I could
go out and meet women, anywhere, anytime. But if I hadn't
started observing REALITY instead of relying on my own
opinions and old beliefs, I would probably still be a
"shy" guy today.
I am not kidding. Take a look around you and look
at how many men there are out there that are in their 30's
or 40's and are still very unsuccessful with women. These
guys never "got it". I am glad I did. And you should be
glad you're going to get it too.
This reason most men fail with women
What I am about to tell you may be a little bit
controversial.
In fact, your mind will probably be screaming, "NO!
Don't listen to this!" very soon. (This is normal, as
I will explain to you shortly.)
I am here to tell you that if you're not having the
kind of success you would like to have with women, it's probably
because your mind is ENJOYING the failure.
After almost five years of helping men with their love
lives, I have come to the conclusion that most guys are ADDICITED
to rejections from hot women. Even though they are not
consciously aware of it (they may even argue against it when
they hear my theory), most men are really so addicted to their
feelings from past situations that every time they have a remote
CHANCE of becoming successful with a stunning woman, they
mess up because they don't know how to "handle" the success.
Let me explain this with an analogy.
Imagine your mind as a little elastic band sitting on
your desk, unstretched. Now, let's pretend you're talking to a
truly stunning woman and it just so happens that she is VERY
interested in you. What will happen to your little elastic band
then? It will probably get stretched out to its limits - as
your mind is suddenly forced to expand to accept the incredible
encounter with this woman.
But the trouble with your mind is that just like any
other rubber band, it is going to be fighting and
fighting and fighting to go back to its original shape.
So as you try to make small talk with this hot woman, your mind
will start telling you, "STOP! STOP! STOP! THIS SHOULDN'T
BE HAPPENING! IT'S TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE!"
As a result...you start to feel nervous...your palm
starts to sweat...and you begin to mumble stupid things as
you eyes starts looking at the floor...
So why does your mind do this to you all the time?
It's really simple.
You see...just like an elastic band, your mind is
more comfortable in a RESTING position. Believe it or not,
if you have had nothing but failure with women in the past,
then your mind will be COMFORTABLE letting you stay a
failure with women, because then it won't have any nasty
"surprises". To put it in plan English. if you keep on
getting rejected, your mind will at least know what to expect.
Your mind is actually AFRAID of what you're capable
of. Because with personal change, ANYTHING could happen:
- You might bump into a few walls that you haven't
bumped into before. (Your mind would rather see you bump
into the SAME walls over and over...because that way it'd
know what to expect.)
- You might learn to work on yourself. (Your mind
would rather see you stay the same because change is scary.)
- You might let go of some of your old beliefs.
(VERY scary to a mind.)
- You might learn that you ARE in control of your
own life. (EXTREMELY scary to a conservative mind that is
used to blaming external factors for your failures.)
So what should you do?
Here's your solution:
Replace your old elastic band with a longer and
thicker one. Know that you are in control of EVERYTHING
you do.
You choose what you do.
You choose what you wear,what you say, what you believe,
and what you do when you approach a woman.
They are all YOUR choices, get it?
Keep exploring new options. If something hasn't
been working for you all these years, it's not going to
"suddenly" work for you now. You've got to come up with
NEW ways to do things, even if your mind doesn't feel
comfortable with the new changes. If you're feeling
confused, angry, fearful, or depressed with your love
life, it means whatever you're doing isn't working for you
right now. Because if you keep on doing old things
because they make you more comfortable, then you're just
going to keep getting your OLD results.
The bottem line is...if you want to have success
with women, then you'll have to change SOONER OR LATER.
So the ONLY question is: how much more pain do you want
to undergo before you change your life for the better?
How many more times do you want to make the SAME mistakes
with women until you finally start learning how to do
things the RIGHT way?
Here's the exercise of the day. Take out a piece
of paper and a pen. Write down 5 things that you would
like to do differently from now on.
Examples:
1) "I am going to go out every Friday night from
now on...no matter how busy my schedule is."
2) "I am going to try to close for the number every
time I meet a new woman."
3) "I am going to start saying 'no' to women."
4) "I am going to go out instead of watching TV
from now on."
5) "I am going to be more sociable with EVERYBODY
from now on."
controversial.
In fact, your mind will probably be screaming, "NO!
Don't listen to this!" very soon. (This is normal, as
I will explain to you shortly.)
I am here to tell you that if you're not having the
kind of success you would like to have with women, it's probably
because your mind is ENJOYING the failure.
After almost five years of helping men with their love
lives, I have come to the conclusion that most guys are ADDICITED
to rejections from hot women. Even though they are not
consciously aware of it (they may even argue against it when
they hear my theory), most men are really so addicted to their
feelings from past situations that every time they have a remote
CHANCE of becoming successful with a stunning woman, they
mess up because they don't know how to "handle" the success.
Let me explain this with an analogy.
Imagine your mind as a little elastic band sitting on
your desk, unstretched. Now, let's pretend you're talking to a
truly stunning woman and it just so happens that she is VERY
interested in you. What will happen to your little elastic band
then? It will probably get stretched out to its limits - as
your mind is suddenly forced to expand to accept the incredible
encounter with this woman.
But the trouble with your mind is that just like any
other rubber band, it is going to be fighting and
fighting and fighting to go back to its original shape.
So as you try to make small talk with this hot woman, your mind
will start telling you, "STOP! STOP! STOP! THIS SHOULDN'T
BE HAPPENING! IT'S TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE!"
As a result...you start to feel nervous...your palm
starts to sweat...and you begin to mumble stupid things as
you eyes starts looking at the floor...
So why does your mind do this to you all the time?
It's really simple.
You see...just like an elastic band, your mind is
more comfortable in a RESTING position. Believe it or not,
if you have had nothing but failure with women in the past,
then your mind will be COMFORTABLE letting you stay a
failure with women, because then it won't have any nasty
"surprises". To put it in plan English. if you keep on
getting rejected, your mind will at least know what to expect.
Your mind is actually AFRAID of what you're capable
of. Because with personal change, ANYTHING could happen:
- You might bump into a few walls that you haven't
bumped into before. (Your mind would rather see you bump
into the SAME walls over and over...because that way it'd
know what to expect.)
- You might learn to work on yourself. (Your mind
would rather see you stay the same because change is scary.)
- You might let go of some of your old beliefs.
(VERY scary to a mind.)
- You might learn that you ARE in control of your
own life. (EXTREMELY scary to a conservative mind that is
used to blaming external factors for your failures.)
So what should you do?
Here's your solution:
Replace your old elastic band with a longer and
thicker one. Know that you are in control of EVERYTHING
you do.
You choose what you do.
You choose what you wear,what you say, what you believe,
and what you do when you approach a woman.
They are all YOUR choices, get it?
Keep exploring new options. If something hasn't
been working for you all these years, it's not going to
"suddenly" work for you now. You've got to come up with
NEW ways to do things, even if your mind doesn't feel
comfortable with the new changes. If you're feeling
confused, angry, fearful, or depressed with your love
life, it means whatever you're doing isn't working for you
right now. Because if you keep on doing old things
because they make you more comfortable, then you're just
going to keep getting your OLD results.
The bottem line is...if you want to have success
with women, then you'll have to change SOONER OR LATER.
So the ONLY question is: how much more pain do you want
to undergo before you change your life for the better?
How many more times do you want to make the SAME mistakes
with women until you finally start learning how to do
things the RIGHT way?
Here's the exercise of the day. Take out a piece
of paper and a pen. Write down 5 things that you would
like to do differently from now on.
Examples:
1) "I am going to go out every Friday night from
now on...no matter how busy my schedule is."
2) "I am going to try to close for the number every
time I meet a new woman."
3) "I am going to start saying 'no' to women."
4) "I am going to go out instead of watching TV
from now on."
5) "I am going to be more sociable with EVERYBODY
from now on."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)