Dating realities

A couple of you have asked me to elaborate on the
"reality" concept that I talked about in my last email, so
that's what I'm going to talk about today.

I firmly believe that there are HUGE differences
between our beliefs and what REALITY really shows.

I am not just talking about the differences between our
"ideal world" and "reality". (Example: In the ideal world,
everybody will eventually see what a wonderful guy you are. In
the real world, nobody really cares.) I am talking about how our
PERSONAL BELIEFS and OPINIONS may NOT actually reflect reality.

When I started getting into this dating game, I
interviewed a lot of female friends and asked them what they
want.

Oh boy. What a mistake.

The typical answers were answers such as...

"Somebody nice."

"Somebody funny."

"A guy who is not a pig."

"A guy who will be good to me."

So there I was, a guy who was trying to be "nice",
"funny", "not a pig", and "good to women."

And guess what? I was every girl's best friend, but
not their boyfriend.

It took me a good year to figure out that there is
a HUGE difference between what women SAY they want and what
they REALLY want.

Just because a woman "thinks" she prefers dark-haired,
well-built man doesn't mean she won't respond to a
blond-haired man with a KILLER PERSONALITY.

Just because a woman "says" she'd never kiss a guy
on a first date doesn't mean she won't ever do it.

Just because a woman "says" she wants a nice, funny
guy who's "not a pig" doesn't mean she will start dating
her best friend.

Interesting concept, eh? Well, guess what? It works
the "other way" too.

When you think, "Women are only attracted to jerks
and that's why I never get laid", it may not reflect
reality. (And it doesn't - but that will have to be a topic
in another email.)

When you think, "I will never get laid because I
am ugly", you're stopping yourself from success because
you're neglecting the fact that women also care about
your dating skills and personality. (In the real world,
women care about the CUMULATIVE SCORE, as I explained in
my last email.)

When you think, "My best friend gets laid a lot
because he is an athlete," it doesn't really help you
because the REALITY may be that your best friend is really
just a VERY GOOD FLIRT.

In short, your own opinion of what "should" or
"shouldn't" work could SEVERELY mess up your love life.

This is what I mean when I say I have based my
Smart Dating Course on "reality" instead of on opinions
and theory. Instead of thinking, "Hmm. I think women
prefer jerks because that's what everybody says," I
went out and OBSERVED people. I OBSERVED how the best
"players" in the fields got women, and I tried to
duplicate their success by imitating what they were
doing - until I knew enough to compile everything into
my own "model" which eventually became the Smart Dating
system.

It took me a few years of time to finally
"get it", and to have total confidence that I could
go out and meet women, anywhere, anytime. But if I hadn't
started observing REALITY instead of relying on my own
opinions and old beliefs, I would probably still be a
"shy" guy today.

I am not kidding. Take a look around you and look
at how many men there are out there that are in their 30's
or 40's and are still very unsuccessful with women. These
guys never "got it". I am glad I did. And you should be
glad you're going to get it too.